Lillian Marie

A-Head of it all

2011-10-06T00:14:00.000-04:00

This past summer my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily the doctors caught it early. My Aunt, my Mom's sister, was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and had a double mastectomy. Needless to say, my Sister and I are now frightfully aware that we may have breast cancer in our lifetime.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

She was getting a routine mammogram ... well, should have been routine. The tech saw something in one of the x-rays and took a few more pictures ... then there was something in the other breast ... again more pictures. When all was done the normal 4 pictures turned into 13.

Then she was called back for an ultrasound and a biopsy.

I am unsure if any of you had had a biopsy, but let's just say that they hurt! They use a huge needle ... huge I mean in circumfrance, not length ... so they can suck the tissue right out of you. Tissue that should be left alone under normal circumstances.

It's funny how God answers prayers ...

I had prayed the night before that God would give me my Mom's pain. It was a short quick, fleeting-of-the-moment, mindless type prayer ... but I do remember asking. My Mom never felt a thing! The doctor had a few biopsies to do because both breasts had questionable spots. The needle went in, cells came out, and my Mom felt nothing.

I, on the other hand, had a major headache that day. It was cloudy, work was a bit stressful, so I took some tylenol and thought nothing of it.

She decided to get a double mastectomy. In fact they were not going to be used any longer ... we were all weaned and on solid foods now. (yes, you can laugh). As the doctors made preparations for the surgery and additional doctor's appointments, my headaches grew worse and were happening daily.

I had made some doctors appointments but nothing was working. I do not get migraines, so I knew that was out. But every test that was taken, everything came back normal - even the CT scan. But I did not put 2-and-2 together.

My Mom had the surgery ... the doctor's said everything went really well. She had staples from one side of her chest to the other, two drains, one on each side, and lots of bandages.

My headaches had gotten worse to the point that I could barely think. I couldn't concentrate and just keeping my eyes open was painful. Imagine Uncle Fester putting your head in a vice and tightening it then grabbing a sledge hammer and hitting the back of your head with it ... my headaches were worse than that!

The next day my Mom and her Sister were in the hospital room ... my Mom felt no pain whatsoever! She has traintracks running across her ... she just had major surgery ... and she felt no pain! Nothing! In fact, she was up and walking around (not far, mind you) that day. The hospital, however, in their infinite wisdom, put her in a room with a patient who had massive infections (doctors were overheard talking about major antibiotics to attack the infection). Needless to say, my Mom was NOT going to stay there any longer than she had to, in fact, she asked her doctor to discharge her that day so she could recouperate at home. Because she was feeling well and the drains were working properly, the doctor did discharge her.

For the next 2 weeks, I had major headaches ... nothing was working ... even major pain pills. They would knock me out, but when I would awaken, the pain was back. My doctor's scheduled an MRI. I had to now wait for the radiology department to call so we could schedule it ... 3 weeks later was the earliest I could get in.

It wasn't until my Mom and I were talking that we were able to connect the dots. God allowed me to take her pain ... He gave me that gift, and what an awesome gift it was! As I was in pain, I would offer up my pain, ask that it would be combined with Jesus' suffering, for anyone who needed prayers. I am just amazed at God's infinite wisdom and kindness.

When the staples and the drains were taken out, she felt nothing!

As she recouperated, my headaches lessened. The day of the MRI, I had no headaches at all. Well, not like they were. I would have a twinge here or there, but it was more of an annoyance than actual pain. The MRI came back normal - everything that should be in there is in there and nothing that should be in there was not.

I now have no headaches at all. They have completely disappeared. And my Mom? Well, she's been a swell patient. She made sure (as did we) that she did not pick up anything too heavy, lift anything above her head, and was able to rest as much as she needed. She's now back to doing her exercises.

Would I do it again? Absolutely!
God gave me a gift ... a gift of faith. He allowed me to get a snippit of the pain Jesus felt in his suffering.

My Mom, on the other hand, yells at me when I tell her I would do it again ...

Another gift from God ... an answered prayer.

Surrender

2011-02-22T20:23:00.000-05:00

Blanketed with snowfall of a new day
on my knees, my arms outstretched
as dew on a new leaf, eyes watered from sorrow

I tried it on my own, tried it by myself
failing and falling
my head bows in despair

Hands outstretched save me
His eyes know my pain
Gentle touch wiping the tears, lifting me

I am not to do it alone
He is always beside me
His love for me greater
He is waiting ... yearning for me ... loving me
asking me to surrender.

I'm back!

2010-09-30T11:18:00.000-04:00

It has been over a year since I have 'blogged'. The Holy Spirit has been nudging me to get back to writing, and as an unfaithful servant, I have been arguing with God. (I think I would have learned by now that arguing will not work).

What has happened:

I lived in the Community of Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity for 3 months. During that time, I was working at my job and living in the community. I was having a very difficult time separating the secular world from the religious world. Through discernment, God wanted me to leave the community, which He displayed through a very recognizable sign. I had asked God to send me red roses if He wanted me to stay and yellow roses if He wanted me to leave. That Tuesday, there were yellow roses on every table!

I am unsure what God has in store for me next. I am continuing to work at the job I had before I entered the Convent. I am trying to lead the life God wants me to live. I pray that I am pleasing to Him.

Since my departure at the Convent, I have had many challenges and many successes. As of yesterday, I am now coordinating the Perpetual Adoration at my Church. (The Holy Spirit nudged me and then confirmed it during the Spirutal Formation Committee meeting).

I look forward to writing again and reading all of the comments.

Thanks!

God's Path for Me ... Beginning of a New Life

2009-03-11T12:40:00.002-04:00

As I look back, it amazes me how intricately involved God and Mary have been in my life. We hear through God's Word that He knows the number of hairs on your head. What is amazing is that it changes from minute to minute. Hair falls out or is shaved off. New hair grows back or a cell dies and becomes dormant. So we never know from minute to minute or second to second how many hairs we have ... but God, in His infinite wisdom and love for us, does.

He loves us so much that there is no problem too small that He wants to hear about. We think we can only take those grandiose problems that we can not find an answer or solution. However, He wants to know how our day went; what we were feeling; the good things that happened; the anger we felt; the joy; the pain ... He wants it all ... totally and completely.

To be asked by God to join Him is an enormous responsibility and a great privilege. My prayer is that I can successfully complete His will as He requests.

I greatly appreciated your prayers and support during my discernment. As I take this first step tomoorow, joining Him through the Trinitarian Order, I will keep you all in my prayers. Please know that during my Postulancy, I am given limited access to the Internet so my blogging will be few and far between. Please be patient.

God Bless you all!

Lenten Message - CatholiCity

2009-02-25T05:37:00.003-05:00

I received this from CatholiCity and thought it was very well written - thought I'd share.

The CatholiCity Message
Volume XIII,
Number 2
Special Lenten Edition

Dear CatholiCity Citizen,

Our only purpose today is to help you begin your Lent well. Remember the initials YBLE: Your Best Lent Ever. Before we start, we saved a really, really, really good insight for last, entitled "YOU ARE NOT DEAD." Hmmnn.

1. NOW FOR THE...CONCEIT

This is one message you may want to forward to your friends and relatives--before Ash Wednesday is over. Let us being with...a conceit.

Huh? A what?
What is a "conceit"?

As some of us may recall from English class in the olden days, a conceit, according the fourth definition of the third meaning of the noun in Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, is (drumroll): "an organizing principle"

A Lent well-lived needs an organizing principle. May we suggest that your conceit for Lent 2009--your organizing principle--be to: Go. For. It.

THE POPE'S PETARD

Go For It!

We only have so many years on this earth, and to waste a Lent is just plain subpar for a believing Catholic. Challenge yourself spiritually in 2009. Choose extra *difficult* mortifications. Give up your very very most favorite things. Fast more often than ever before in your life. Commit to prayer or Mass or Good Friday devotions like never before in your life. Do not fall for the sadly common temptation to slide into this worldwide season of extraordinary grace like a wet towel into a hamper.

By the way, you know the Pope is going to kick petard this Lent. This is the only time of year when it is, in fact, a good idea to be more Catholic than the pope.

Pope Benedict XVI practically invented the Conceit.
He was going for it, like, over eighty years ago.

So plan today, right now, to look back on April 12, 2009 (Easter Sunday) with the wonderful sensation of knowing that you did your very, very best to grow closer to Jesus. That you did not squander another Lent. And let us know, on April 13, how It was goed for for you.

(Yes, if you read that slowly, it makes sense. Sort of.)

CRACKERJACK, SURPRISE-INSIDE SUGGESTIONS

Some of you are psyched. Some of you are groaning. Others are nodding (hopefully in agreement, not into sleep). Many stopped reading after the word "conceit."

And, now, for some suggestions. Please forgive us for listing some of the "usual suspect" suggestions. Our goal below is to make you tremble in fear: "Oh no, not that! I can't give up that!"

Yeah, we (and you) are looking for the Perfect Oh No Not That to give up because this year, our conceit is Go For It.

And remember, there is no prohibition from "doubling" up, or choosing three, five, or seven things for Lent 2009 (Your Best Lent Ever!).

We know that many of you have been intending to get off your duffs and do several of the following for years (and even decades--you know who you are).

We can only offer this bold encouragement because we are weak, slothful, wimpy, selfish, lazy, prideful, ashamed, and cowardly. Here are some suggestions to get into the spirit of GO FOR IT, followed by helpful hints, resources and comments...

1. Pray the Rosary every day.
2. Receive Communion at Mass every day.
3. Go to Confession every Friday.
4. Pray the Family Rosary every day or once a week.
5. Pray in silence 20 minutes a day.
6. Make a Eucharistic visit every day.
7. Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet (at 3:00 PM) every day.
8. Fast on bread and water one to three times per week.
9. Read a spiritual book.
10. Give a painfully large donation to charity.
11. Give a donation to charity instead of buying something for you.
12. Pray "Jesus, I love you!" in the first waking seconds of the day.
13. Listen to Catholic CDs.
14. Do something major to improve your marriage.
15. Volunteer anywhere: at your kid's school, homeless shelter16. Visit a home for the elderly
16. Give up something you absolutely love, crave, or spend time on, or that annoys the people you love, including:

-television or your favorite television show
-television before a certain hour
-television AFTER a certain hour
-coffee
-diet soda
-donuts
-hamburgers
-chocolate, and anything with chocolate flavor
-all snacks or desserts
-movies, Netflix, movie rentals
-the Internet
-following your favorite sports team
-video games
-celebrity magazines
-golf (an objectively grave moral evil) (only kidding)
-booze
-watching golf on TV
-a destructive, irresistable "friendship"
-foul language
-picking your nose
-sports radio
-satellite radio
-music radio
-talk radio
-restaurants
-driving when you could walk
-sleeping in late on the weekends
-sleeping an "extra" ten minutes in the morning
-fast food drivethroughs
-not cooking breakfast for your kids
-shopping for clothes or food
-text messaging
-not stopping by your neighbors to say hello for weeks
-failing to visit or call your "not close by" relatives
-soap operas
-the beach (for those of you lucky enough to have one nearby)
-fishing, hunting, four
-wheeling, skateboarding-some of your "alone" time doing any hobby
-your absolute favorite, passionate hobby (aha, you just fainted!)
-nagging your husband (you know who you are)
-nagging your wife (she knows who you are)
-interrupting others
-not smiling when you arrive at the office
-knitting, crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, sudoku
-knitting? (you addicts understand)
-cigarettes, cigars, gum, and "phony candy" breathmints
-cellphone calls in your car on the drive home
-bluetooth headset (harder than you think)
-fantasy football, basketball, or baseball
-eat your vegetables (even you adults)
-betting on March Madness
-gossiping at work
--say something nice instead
-stealing "little stuff" from your employer, including time online
-relations with your spouse (on certain days or weeks)
-thinking about yourself when you wake up or go to sleep (pray instead)
-thinking about yourself when you drive (pray instead)
-buying anything you don't need

LITTLE CHILDREN

That, ahem, should get you started.
We are also big advocates of children giving up video games and television.

Consider encouraging your little ones to abstain from meat on Friday and even to fast (using your parental judgment, under your supervision of course). Have them give 10% of their piggy bank into the collection basket.Let's review our conceit: GO FOR IT.

YOU ARE NOT DEAD: LENT VERSUS LINT

May we mildly suggest that you are not dead. You are not a corpse. You are alive. You are breathing.

Put your index finger into your bellybutton. Dig. That's lint.

This is Lent.
And Lent 2009 and it shall never come again, and it shall never *start* again, so that is why it is so important to have some courage on Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday.

Lent is about changing, for forty days, how you live so you can grow closer to Jesus.

LET US PRAY TOGETHER FOR LENT 2009

Our prayer is simple. Let us begin in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit..."

Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.

Please help me do my best, and by leadership or by example, help my family and friends, do their their best, this Lent. Because I love you and I want to love you more. Amen.

"LENTEN QUOTATIONS"

"Study the generations long past and understand;
has anyone hoped in the Lord and been disappointed?
Has anyone persevered in his commandments and been forsaken?
has anyone called upon him and been rebuffed?
Compassionate and merciful is the Lord;
he forgives sins, he saves in time of troubleand he is a protector to all who seek him in truth."
Sir 2:5-11 (Reading for Tuesday, February 24, 2009)

"An honest man is the noblest work of God."
Alexander Pope

"I have done my part. May Christ teach you to do yours."
Saint Francis of Assisi, final words on his deathbed

"My Lord has suffered as much for me."
Savonarola, final words on his deathbed

"I have not behaved myself that I should be ashamed to live, nor am I afraid to die, because I have so good a master."
Saint Ambrose, final words on his deathbed

"Jesus! Jesus!"
Saint Joan of Arc, final words on her deathbed

Thank you for being an august citizen of CatholiCity, and for reading to the sweet end.
Next time we write, it shall be in the middle of Lent, in the fray, so to speak, of Lent 2009.
Meet us there, going for it.With Immaculate Mary,Your Friends at CatholiCity____________________________________________________

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The Day has come

2009-02-14T13:55:00.003-05:00

The D-Day has been determined .... March 12th. Yes, in one month I will be officially entering the Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity.

And guess what - it's the feast day of St. Maximilian, no not St. Maximillian Kolbe, but St. Maximilian son of Fabius. He was beheaded because he refused to join the Roman army.

Also the feast day of St. Seraphina.

Action Needed ...

2009-02-12T18:25:00.003-05:00

http://RestoreTheRepublic.com - STOP HR 645 - A rather scary piece of legislation has been introduced in the House of Representatives entitled HR 645. Also known as the National Emergency Centers Establishment Act. ...

A friend of mine, who is in the military, alerted me to this. Your action is urgently needed regarding H.R. Bill 645

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVA1bKPA500

New Blog in Town

2009-02-12T08:35:00.003-05:00

Check out the new Blog -

Open Door Pro-Life Family Apostolate

Feast of the Immaculate Conception

2009-02-11T08:01:00.006-05:00

Today is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception

Prayers

Anyone in & around Cleveland

This evening at Our Lady of Lourdes Shrine (Euclid, OH)

Rosary & Mass

7:00pm

Mass celebrated by Bishop Pevec

Update:

Lourdes Web Cam

To All Parents of Religious

2009-02-10T05:51:00.004-05:00

I found this article, 'To All Parents of Religious', on Catholic Exchange. I also shared it with my parents...who 'can now start their life of crime.' Okay, maybe not. :-)

To All Parents of Religious

Posted using ShareThis

Challenges & Thanksgiving

2009-02-06T21:32:00.002-05:00

My parents and I were supposed to attend the retreat at Our Sorrowful Mother's Ministries in Vandalia, IL this weekend. However, other plans were made. Someone stole my check card number and started purchasing things off of the internet - over $700! Tack on the insufficient funds charges and it's over $1000! So all Thursday afternoon, I was at the Bank, closing my account, canceling my check card, opening other accounts and check card, counting up charges and fees, and plotting next steps. It has been a true nightmare! I do have to say that the Bank has been very gracious and helpful - so much so that the Personal Banker that I was working with, worked through her lunch to help me. I am indebted to her gift of mercy!

Late afternoon Thursday, I visited the local Police Department and submitted a report. During my discussion with the Officer, I discovered that this is considered a felony since it is over $500 worth of charges...thus a higher concern issued over this case.

Needless to say, I was quite bummed when I could not attend the retreat. However, God always opens a window/door/porthole when one closes. My parents and I visited Our Lady of Sorrows in Bellevue, OH (just south of Sandusky - Cedar Point area). I had never been to this Shrine, nor had my Father. It was amazing!

and...

My parents prayed over me in front of the statue of the Pieta in the Chapel. Then, they 'gave' me to the Blessed Mother. It was an awesome experience! Knowing that my earthly Mother and Father have asked our Blessed Mother and God to take over the role of parenting. Wow!

I can only imagine this is what Priests must feel when they are consecrated. To know that their Mother and Father is now Mary, the Blessed Virgin, our Heavenly Mother, and God, the Father.

Update...

I talked with the Vocation Director at the Shrine this evening. C.T. and I have rescheduled our meeting with her to Saturday, February 14th. If I need to drive to get C.T. and bring her to this meeting, I will. *grin* One way or another, we are going to have this meeting on February 14th!

Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes

2009-02-04T08:19:00.004-05:00

Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes - February 3 - 11

The Novena to Our Lady of Lourdes began yesterday, Tuesday, February 3rd.

Novena

For those of you in/near Cleveland, the Shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes has Rosary and Mass every evening, starting at 7:00pm. The Shrine is located at 21281 Chardon Road, Euclid, OH. Everyone is welcome!

Our Lady of Lourdes Shrine - Euclid

O Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of Mercy, you are the refuge of sinners, the health of the sick, and the comfort of the afflicted. You know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. By your appearance at the Grotto of Lourdes you made it a privileged sanctuary where your favors are given to people streaming to it from the whole world. Over the years countless sufferers have obtained the cure for their infirmities -- whether of soul, mind, or body. Therefore I come to you with limitless confidence to implore your motherly intercession. Obtain, O loving Mother, the grant of my requests. Through gratitude for Your favors, I will endeavor to imitate Your virtues, that I may one day share in Your glory. Amen.

Christmas Scene

2009-02-02T10:29:00.003-05:00

Every Christmas we have a gift exchange with the extended family on my mom's side. The theme this year was to bring something handmade. My Dad originally made a Christmas Scene out of wood - however, when he was finished, he liked it so well, he decided to keep it and make something else out of wood.

My sister received the Christmas Scene.

The picture on the right shows the detail of the wood, whereas the picture on the left shows how it looks with the light from behind.

He has been doing some amazing things!

Called to be Saints

2009-02-01T09:55:00.004-05:00

I woke up early this morning and could not get back to sleep. As I was trying to relax, a thought kept entering my mind - saints.

We are all called to become saints. But what does this mean exactly? Should we give up everything, like the Apostles, and follow Jesus? Should we sell everything and give to the poor? Should we seek out those who are persecuted and give our lives for them?

I seriously doubt this is what God had in mind when He calls us to become saints. For 'seeking' to become a saint when we are not following the path God leads for us, we fail in our efforts.

So what does it mean to be a saint? St. Maximillian, my patron, received a message from Mary - to take a white crown or red. He chose both. What about St. Therese, St. Faustina, or St. Gemma? All virgins and all received messages from God. Does the message make them a saint? Does the fact that St. Max chose both crowns?

Do you have to be a Priest or Religious to be a saint? What about St. Jane de Chantel or St. Theophano? Both were married yet became saints - and there are many others.

It's not in the extraordinary things that they became saints...it's in the ordinary. They all chose to follow God's will wherever it led them. They chose to put God in front of everything else that happened.

They chose.

To be a saint is to choose to keep God in the foremost part of your life. To put Him first and to be thankful for everything that you have and do not have. It means to choose God's way, not your way.

It was not that these men and women were prophetic or virgins or married or had visions. It was that they cared more about God's will than their own. They cared more about the well-being of others and giving everything they had to help others.

We are called to be saints - not in the extraordinary, but in the ordinary.

Picture of Mary

2009-01-31T15:30:00.003-05:00

My Dad made this picture of Madonna & Child out of wood! It is truly remarkable - this picture does not do the craftsmanship justice.

The Madonna & Child are in the middle of the Jesse Tree. Below is a view of Jerusalem.

I thought you'd enjoy viewing.

Sister ... In Waiting...

2009-01-31T14:52:00.002-05:00

They say patience is a virtue ... well, God is REALLY testing me on this virtue!

The meeting this morning did not happen. Not because of lack of planning - car trouble.
C.T. was having car problems - she could not get into her car because her locks were frozen. She called her parents who live nearby - and even the de-icer would not work. They called AAA, however, someone would not be able to get there until 2-3 hours.

So...

The Vocation Director and I talked a bit while I was there. We are going to try to reschedule yet again so the 3 of us can meet. In the mean-time, it is looking like late February, early March when I will be entering. You got it ... in A MONTH!

This is going to be very difficult for me because this will be the first time I will be away from my family for Easter....I will be with my new family.

I know it's all in God's time - and so far, He's been doing the planning. We're just trying to keep up with Him.

Update on P.H.'s brother - he was in ICU - he stablized and the doctors sent him home. Without getting into any details, he needs many, many prayers. He's angry, confused, and needs God's guidance. Child Welfare is going to be called to assist the daughter who witnessed the event. She is currently in good hands and safe. Please continue to pray for the entire family.

Thanksgiving & Prayers

2009-01-30T07:37:00.003-05:00

Thanksgiving

Wanted to give an update on C.T. - SHE PASSED HER SOCIAL WORK BOARDS!!!!!
Thank you all for your prayers!

Prayers

A good friend of mine, 'T.H.', needs your prayers - actually her entire family needs your prayers.
Her brother and his wife were having marital problems...there are many issues involved and several children, one of whom is still living at home and in high school. The wife stabbed the husband with a knife yesterday morning....collapsing one lung and nicking the aorta. He is in the hospital and alive.

Please keep not only their family, but the entire H. clan in your prayers. This has hit the family really hard. The youngest is currently staying with relatives but in emotional turmoil. Apparently, just before this happened, she was yelling at her father and told him that she hates him. We know this was an emotional outburst and that she really did not mean it - but then the incident occurred and she's really torn inside.

Please say an extra Hail Mary for this family.

The Hour Approaches...

2009-01-28T14:41:00.002-05:00

Our meeting with the Vocation Director at the Trinitarians is quickly approaching. C.T. and I will be meeting with her, discussing the 'date' (the date that we will enter as Postulents) as well as other pertinent information.

Please pray for C.T. - she is taking her boards for Social Work this Friday.

I'll keep everyone updated on our next steps.

Thank you for all of your prayers!!!

Just a bit o'humor

2009-01-27T12:29:00.001-05:00

What happens to a dyslexic agnostic who has insomia?

She lays awake all night wondering if there really is a doG.

God is a Verb

2009-01-19T15:16:00.006-05:00

Buckminster Fuller once said, 'God is a Verb'.

Exodus 3:14
God replied, "I am who am." Then he added,
"This is what you shall tell the Israelites: I AM sent me to you."

I am reading The Shack by Wm. Paul Young. (actually, I read it in three days) - and now I am continuously contemplating its message. One of the many points that struck me was that God defined Himself as a verb. 'I am a verb. I am that I am. I will be who I will be. I am a verb! I am alive, dynamic, ever active, and moving. I am a being verb.'

Before this I never really thought about it before. God was God. The Holy Trinity. 3 Persons in One. Person being a noun; God the Name for all 3 Persons - also a noun. (For those of you who have heard the School House Rock! - you can sing with me - A Noun is a Person, Place or Thing).

The book continues: 'And my very essence is a verb. I am more attuned to verbs than nouns. Verbs such as confessing, repenting, living, loving, responding, growing, reaping, changing, sowing, running, dancing, singing, and on and on.'

But the more I think about it - God introduces Himself to Moses as a verb - a form of 'Be'. 'I am Who Am'. God can not be anything other that He Who Is present, past, and future...He Who Is Now. He is the same with Moses as He was with Jesus as He is right now at this very moment, and will be for years to come. He will never change. He is incapable of changing. He Is.

The book continues: 'Humans, on the other hand, have a knack for taking a verb that is alive and full of grace and turning it into a dead noun or principle that reeks of rules: something growing and alive dies. Nouns exist because there is a created universe and physical reality, but if the universe is only a mass of nouns, it is dead. Unless 'I am', there are no verbs, and verbs are what make the universe alive.'

I could not stop thinking about this. Do we really take a perfectly good verb and make it into a dead noun?

Expectations vs Expectancy

God does not put expectations upon us. How could He? He already knows the present, past, and future. We could never disappoint Him. He loves us and we belong to Him. We are a part of He Who Is. We are made in His image and likeness. Like Him, we have a trinity within us - Mind, Body, and Spirit. Sound familiar? There was the Word. And the Word became flesh. Mind - the Word. Spirit, the Soul, linked to the Holy Spirit. Body - God Who Is. God does not put expectations upon us - we do that very well on our own.

Relationship vs Relations

Think about it - relationship, relations. Relationship, relations. It is so true - relationship does sound dead when compared to relations. God does not want a relationship with us - He wants continuous relations with us. Relations where we include Him in every part of our life. He is the Sun of our universe - where everything revolves around Him and without Him, nothing will be.

How little I understood, and still understand, about God. God is a verb! His essence is a verb!

Listening - the Lost Art

2009-01-16T13:47:00.004-05:00

A Priest that I know often sends an email to several people asking for feedback on his sermon idea for the following Sunday. This Sunday's homily is on 'Listening'. Here were my thoughts:

Listening.... it's becoming a 'lost art'

The thing about listening - is that I have to stop talking in order to listen.
Listening to God - I have to stop telling God what I want before I can hear what He wants for me.

And sometimes, listening means that I have to accept criticism - even from the Church (ecclesial & Magesterial). Lately, many Priests are receiving criticism from parishioners & Bishops for speaking the Truth about what the Church teaches and how we, as children of God, should live our lives. My take on this - the Priests and Bishops are our Shepherds. They are the ones that are trying to save our souls so that we can live with the Holy Trinity, the Angels, the Saints, our Heavenly Mother in the next life - in Heaven. Without them, we would be lost.

And if a Priest told me something that I need to work on and I am offended - actually, I should be thanking God for him being here to guide me so that I can become holy. If I am offended - that leads toward pride, which is not of God. This also means that I need to listen ... really listen to what God is telling me through that Priest.

This also goes for the Laity - it is our jobs to help guide others toward holiness. It's not just the Priests - we, as the ecclesial Body of Christ, need to listen to what Christ, the head of this Body, is telling us.

But listening has become very difficult to do -
I get up in the morning, I have the radio on. I eat breakfast at the computer, reading the stories for the day. I get to the train, conversations of others are overheard and the stops are announced. I get to Tower City, music is playing. I get to work, the phones are ringing, meetings are held, cell phones and pagers are going off, emails are read, etc. I get home around 7pm and eat dinner in front of the TV, family and friends call, friends come over, neighbors chat.... we have become such a 'turned on' society that we 'turn off' listening because it happens every minute of every day.

When do we actually MAKE time to pray? When do we MAKE time to listen to God?
Without a synthetic connection to God - like email, pager, phone, TV program - He is tuned out because we can't stand silence. And silence is what is needed when we talk to God.

Your thoughts?

Next Step ...

2009-01-15T20:06:00.003-05:00

Ok, I have to admit, I am getting VERY excited!

The Vocation Director called me and wants to meet with C.T., the woman who is joining the Trinitarians at the same time as I am, and me to go over next steps. We will also be discussing the 'date' .... the date that we will enter as Postulents in the Trinitarian Order.

We are meeting on Saturday, January 31st!

Generations Lost

2009-01-12T20:52:00.008-05:00

I recently read a book about 'paying it forward.' It's when you pay someone back by helping three other people in need. It's sorta like the '6 degrees of separation' in reverse.

If I help 3 people and ask them to pay it forward by helping 3 people...

they then each help 3 people in need....

conceivably, by the 5th 'generation', 363 people would have been helped (not including myself).

Don't believe me? Take a look.
Each triangle represents a person helped (do not count white triangles).

By the 10th generation, a total of 88,573 people would have been helped, including myself!
Eighty-eight THOUSAND!
Even my computer drawing abilities could not create that many triangles in one area.

Isn't it the same with families? Parents have children, who then have children of their own, who also have children. Generations! We've all heard of or seen the photographs representing 4 or 5 generations within one family. The stories, the laughter, the tears all because two people said 'yes' to God's plan, then two more, then two more. It's totally amazing.

Why is this important?

Just think - what if one, just one of those people were aborted?

Look at all of the lives that are lost because one person said 'no'.

Still don't get it?

There are 3700 infants aborted each day in the U.S. Yes, each day!
Which means, over 1.5 million aborted each year!

If, by paying it forward, I affect 363 people in 5 'generations', how many lives
would never be affected because of abortion?

Take the number of people within 5 generations: 363
Now, multiply that by 3700 (the number of abortions occurring per day in the U.S.)

1,343,100

or

490,231,500
(number of lives never affected per year because of abortion)

Urgent Novena against FOCA

2009-01-11T20:18:00.006-05:00

Warning: Graphic Image below

A Catholic Mom in Hawaii posts the need for an urgent Novena against FOCA.

To learn more about FOCA, click here.

To say a novena (9 days of prayer) along with fasting starting on January 11th.

For Catholics, the prayer of choice will be the Rosary with intentions to stop the FOCA.

For non Catholics I encourage you to pray your strongest prayers with the same intentions, also for nine consecutive days.

The hope is that this will branch andblossom as to become a global effort with maximum impact.

We have verylittle time so we all must act fast.

Just do three things:

1) Pass this letter to 5 or more people

2) Do it in three days or less

3) Start the novena on January 11th and pray for nine consecutive days.

(Please also fast for at least two days during the novena)

Remember that with God all things are possible and the power of prayer is undeniable.

If you are against the senseless killing of defenseless children then the time is now to do something about it!

8 weeks in the womb:

7 Month Aborted Fetus:

Introductory & Penitential Rites

2009-01-10T19:40:00.007-05:00

For one of my Bible studies, I had to research the Introductory Rite and Penitential Rite.
Here is some of what I learned.

Objective Truth to the Mass: that by Divine Power, through the instrumentation of the Priest, acting in persona Christi, bread and wine are changed into the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ.

The graces we receive from this Sacrament depend on our receptivity, our disposition, and our readiness to receive them.

We receive grace to the extent that we are prepared to receive.
We must be in a state of grace to receive Holy Communion (not be conscious of any mortal sins).
If we receive worthily (in a state of grace), along with the Body & Blood of Christ and many graces, we also receive numerous blessings, including the gift of our redemption.
We must purify our soul before receiving Holy Communion

Introductory Rite

Entrance Procession:
Represents our Lord’s entrance into Jerusalem.
When Jesus arrived in Jerusalem on a donkey, he processed through the streets to shouts of joy & victory. The crowed, who held palm branches, welcomed Him in song (once a year this is presented liturgically on Palm Sunday)

For centuries the Priest would arrive at the steps of the Sanctuary and recite Psalm 42 along with the altar boy: ‘Introibo ad altare Dei. Ad Deum qui lactificat iuventutem meam.’ Our Lord and King is about to enter the Sanctuary in order to defeat evil, sin and Satan once again. The entrance procession is a time for joy & victory, for our salvation is near!

Upon entering the Sanctuary (of Jerusalem), the Priest and ministers genuflect to the Blessed Sacrament reserved in the Tabernacle and make a profound bow toward the altar.
The Celebrant, Concelebrating Priests, and Deacons then reverence the altar with a kiss.
The altar, which takes central importance in the Sanctuary, has always been the greatest sign for Christ, whose body became the altar upon which He would sacrifice Himself to the Father. It is the focal point of the Holy Mass.
The altar may receive the first incensation (3 others may follow during the Mass). The incense prepares the altar for sacrifice and may be used in any Mass.

Following the Sign of the Cross

Congregation is greeted through Sacred Scripture (epistles of St. Paul)

Priest: “The grace of Our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all”
- or -
“The grace and peace of God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ be with you”
- or -
“The Lord be with you”

Bishop: “Peace be with you”
By virtue of his office as Vicar of Christ, recalling the inaugural words of Our Lord to his apostles after his resurrection. (John 20: 19 – 23)

Congregation responds: “And also with you” (or more precisely translated, ‘And with your spirit’)

This completes the first dialogue of the Mass, expressing reciprocal conversation between Christ, the head, and the Church, His Mystical Body.

Penitential Rite

From the beginning to the end, Mass is a prayer, the highest prayer known to mankind. Mass teaches us how to pray.

In the Penitential Rite, we are in the midst of a conversation on prayer
The primary movement of prayer in the Mass is one of humility. In imitation of Christ, the Son of God, who humbled Himself to become man; take upon Himself our sins; undergo the Passion, crucifixion, and death on our behalf, we must humble ourselves.

The Church seeks to imitate the humility of Christ by first recognizing our sins and acknowledging the fact that we are sinners in desperate need of God’s abundant mercy.

We pause, examine our conscience in silence, and ask for God’s mercy and forgiveness.
Recall individual sins
Become aware of our overall need for forgiveness and mercy for the sins that we have committed and the good we have omitted, which we may have forgotten.
Prepare our souls to abandon our old sinful habits and seek the grace and mercy that God has prepared for us in receiving his Body and Blood in Holy Communion.

Penitential Rite does not grant absolution for mortal sins. It does help us to receive forgiveness for our less serious sins, venial sins, which are forgiven when we receive Holy Communion with humility and love. (GIRM, 51)

One of 3 Prayers will be led by the Celebrant:

Confiteor:
“I confess to Almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters,: that I have sinned through my own fault (Strike breast) in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and what I have failed to do. And I ask Blessed Mary, all the angels and saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God.”

This is prayed as a community, confessing that we are guilty of sins in thought, word, and deed.
We seek the intercession of:

Blessed Mary, Ever Virgin, who was conceived without sin and remained sinless throughout her life

The Angels, who battle with Satan and defeat evil

The Saints, who were sinners like us, but cooperated with God’s grace and mercy to defeat their own sinfulness and persevered in holiness of life

Members of the Church Militant (the pilgrim Church on earth) (“and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord, our God.”)

Kyrie Eleison:
Kyrie eleison, Christe eleison, Kyrie eleison
(Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy)

This litany is the only surviving vestige of the Greek language remaining in the Latin Rite of the Catholic Church.

Comes straight from the Gospel.
A great healing by Christ is preceded by the humble cry of a beggar, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”
Matthew 15:21
Mark 10: 46 – 52
Luke 17: 13

This is where we find ourselves at the beginning of Mass – a poor beggar in need of mercy.This is why we approach the throne of our Heavenly Father in humility from the very beginning.

Instead of the Confiteor and Kyrie, Two other Prayers could be led by the Celebrant

Priest: [These or similar words] "My brothers and sisters, to prepare ourselves to celebrate the sacred mysteries, let us call to mind our sins."
[Pause for silent reflection]
Priest: "Lord, we have sinned against you: Lord, have mercy."
People: Lord, have mercy.
Priest: "Lord, show us your mercy and love."
People: And grant us your salvation.
Priest: "May almighty God have mercy on us, forgive us our sins, and bring us to everlasting life."
People: Amen.

-- OR --

Priest: [These or similar words] "My brothers and sisters, to prepare ourselves to celebrate the sacred mysteries, let us call to mind our sins."
[Pause for silent reflection]
Priest, Deacon, Cantor or Choir: "You were sent to heal the contrite (or any other suitable invocation): Lord, have mercy."
People: Lord, have mercy.
Priest, Deacon, Cantor or Choir: "You came to call sinners (or any other suitable invocation): Christ, have mercy."
People: Christ, have mercy.
Priest, Deacon, Cantor or Choir: "You plead for us at the right hand of the Father (or any other suitable invocation): Lord, have mercy."
People: Lord, have mercy.
Priest: "May almighty God have mercy on us, forgive us our sins, and bring us to everlasting life.
People: Amen."

Sprinkling Rite (Can be said at all Sunday Masses, Saturday evening Masses, and Holy Days of Obligation)

On Sundays, it is commendable that the rite of blessing and sprinkling holy water ("Asperges") should take the place of the penitential rite of the mass . . . so that the faithful may perceive the baptismal significance of this popular sacramental.

A holy water vessel and sprinkler (Picture) of ample proportions are easier to clean and to use. Water may be blessed in this vessel at the rite of the blessing and sprinkling at the beginning of a Sunday Mass.

A reasonably deep "bucket" with a moveable handle is more convenient. The sprinkler may take the form of a brush or of a hollow, perforated ball, perhaps containing a sponge. But the pocket-size sprinkler conveniently used in pastoral situations does not seem appropriate for celebrations in a church.

Priest: "Dear friends, this water will be used to remind us of our baptism. Let us ask God to bless it, and to keep us faithful to the Spirit he has given us. [Or similar words of introduction]"

Option A:
Priest: "God our Father, your gift of water brings life and freshness to the earth; it washes away our sins and brings us eternal life. We ask you now to bless this water, and to give us your protection on this day, which you have made your own. Renew the living spring of your life within us and protect us in spirit and body, that we may be free from sin and come into your presence to receive your gift of salvation. We ask this through Christ our Lord."
People: Amen.

Option B:
Priest: "Lord God almighty, creator of all life, of body and soul, we ask you to bless this water: as we use it in faith forgive our sins and save us from all illness and the power of evil. Lord, in your mercy give us living water, always springing up as a fountain of salvation: free us, body and soul, from every danger, and admit us to your presence in purity of heart. Grant this through Christ our Lord."
People: Amen.

Option C (during the Easter Season):
Priest: "Lord God almighty, hear the prayers of your people: we celebrate our creation and redemption. Hear our prayers and bless this water which give fruitfulness to the fields, and refreshment and cleansing to man. You chose water to show your goodness when you led your people to freedom through the Red Sea and satisfied their thirst in the desert with water from the rock. Water was the symbol used by the prophets to foretell your new covenant with us. You made the water of baptism holy by Christ's baptism in the Jordan: by it you give us a new birth and renew us in holiness. May this water remind us of our baptism, and let us share the joy of all who have been baptized at Easter. We ask this through Christ our Lord."
People: Amen.

[After blessing the water, the priest moves through the church sprinkling all of the people while an antiphon or other song is sung. When the sprinkling and the song is finished, the priest concludes this rite as follows:]

Priest: "May almighty God cleanse us of our sins, and through the Eucharist we celebrate make us worthy to sit at his table in his heavenly kingdom."
People: Amen.

[This rite is commonly celebrated during the Easter Season, but may also be used at other times. When it is used, the Penitential Rite is omitted, and the Mass continues with the Gloria (on most Sundays and solemnities) or with the Opening Prayer (during Advent and Lent, and on weekdays).]

The Penitential Rite has become one of my favorite parts of the Mass. I know that I do not deserve what God is about to give me, but I also know that HE can make me whole again.

Adult Women 'Playing House' with Fake Babies

2009-01-07T12:36:00.007-05:00

I read this article on Channel 7's website - 'Adult Women Play House with Fake Babies.'

Yes, you read that correctly... women are using fake babies to fill a void in their life.

"Some women are even going as far as taking day trips with the fake babies to the park, out to eat, and even hosting birthday parties for them. Forty-nine-year-old Linda is married with no children of her own. Now, she says she feels like a mother because she has Reborns -- dolls made to look and feel like the real thing.

"It's not a crazy habit, like, you know, drinking, or some sort of, something that's going to hurt you. It's like a hobby.and it doesn't really hurt anybody," Linda said. These women are paying big bucks for this hobby, from $100 to a few thousand dollars. For Reborn owner Lachelle Moore, the fake babies fill a void.

"What's so wonderful about Reborns is that, um, they're forever babies," said Moore, who has grown children and grandchildren. "There's no college tuition, no dirty diapers... just the good part of motherhood," she added.

This is so disheartening! These women are not only hurting themselves but also their families. They are missing the mark!

They are also missing out on all of the joys, laughter, and excitement of having children, seeing them grow up to be toddlers, boys and girls, teenagers, young adults, and finally adults....where the cycle then continues. Yes, there are times of pain and suffering, nights that you are up until the wee hours of the morning praying that your child is safe, heartaches and disappointments.

But it is those times when you see your child succeed in something that has been a struggle in the past, the laughter they bring to the family, the hugs willingly given, the 'I love you mom', and seeing them blossom into beautiful children of God that makes parenting worth while.

There are so many children in fostercare and orphanages that NEED and WANT a family to belong...to be loved as a son or daughter. It is so sad that these mothers feel that they can only get the love from a baby doll rather than from their husband or family. They need our prayers! Motherhood/parenting is one of the most difficult jobs in the world ... and it can not be substituted by a doll.

Please pray for these women.

Prayers

2008-12-31T07:42:00.007-05:00

Adoro recently published a post about Praying Always, which made me contemplate how much I really do pray. Yes, we are to have a set prayer time, and for those of us who are in religious communities, whether a Priest, Religious, or lay, we have the Liturgy of the Hours (LOH) that we must pray.

So the question arises, how to 'pray always'.

This came to light this morning as I was shoveling the driveway. I offered all of the snow that I shoveled for anyone who needed prayers and for those in Purgatory. I offered my work for those in need. On my way to work I take the train where I usually pray the Rosary. Today, however, I felt the need to pray for those struggling in these dark economic times and prayed the Hail Mary repeatedly.

It's not that we must always utter prayers every moment of the day, although I'm certain God would not disapprove. It's offering your day or a part of your day for someone or something. Sometimes when I am driving or riding the bus, I would offer up every rotation of every tire on the road as a prayer for someone or something - a friend who is going through a difficult time, a Priest who is just starting out, a stranger I met the day before, a family who is struggling due to a loss of a relative. Before I go to sleep (if I remember), I offer up every breath for those in Purgatory.

If you are unsure of what to pray for, pray for the Pope's intentions. Pray for the World Day of Peace with the Pope. Pray for those in Purgatory or for your family (immediate & extended). Pray for the Priests. Pray for the God's Angels or Guardian Angels. Pray for anyone who needs prayers.

Distractions

Satan loves to distract us when we are trying to talk to God. Music, TV, Wii, games, phone calls, email, work, etc. Distractions are all around us. How do we overcome these distractions? There are several things that have helped me.

Asking one or more of the Saints to pray with you
Asking your Guardian Angel to guide and protect you
Blessing yourself with Holy Water before praying (I keep a small vial in my purse & in my office)
Asking for Mary's intercession

These are only a few that I commonly use. I also ask my Guardian Angel to pray with me and if I fall asleep during my prayers at night, that he will continue praying for me.

What to Pray

God wants a relationship with us. Think of your best friend. What do you talk about? How do you greet each other? How do you feel when you are with this person? God wants this same type of relationship. Yes, He already knows what you are going through, He already knows your fears, your desires, your needs, your joys, but He wants to hear it from you. He wants you to share your life with Him...to be a part of your life like your best friend is a part of your life.

When you are not sure what to say, you can ask God just to be there with you in those moments of silence. Just like a friend, sometimes it is good just to be present.

For those times when you need to pray but can not find the words, pray the Hail Mary or the Our Father. Pray the Rosary. Pray the 23rd Psalm. Pray the Act of Contrition. Pray a favorite Bible passage (mine, Galatians 2:20).

The more we talk with God, the closer we become. So offer those tire rotations, offer up every breath you take, offer up every word you utter at work, offer up every letter you type, offer up every movement, every eye blink, every step.

Be Still & Know that I am God

2008-12-23T08:34:00.009-05:00

This morning I received an email from a Benedictine Sister that I do not know. How she received my email & why she sent me this e-card, I'm unsure. But what I do know is that God knew I needed this card.

After I woke up this morning & got ready for the day, I did a quick check on emails and just happened to fall upon a St. Jude web site that asked for prayers/petitions. At the end of a year, I always ask God for one petition for the New Year and I have been praying about what to request this next year. (One year I asked for patience - it was the longest year of my life!) There was only one petition that has a lot of meaning for me this next year - to become a worthy spouse for our Lord. I fall short, way short. However, I know that our Heavenly Father can mold me into a spouse that is worthy of His Son.

I am trying to do it all - get it done quickly, efficiently, and effectively ... but God is telling me to 'Be Still...and know that I am God.'

The $600 Billion Human

2008-12-16T07:11:00.007-05:00

I recently read an article about 'Chimeras'. These are the beings that "scientists" are creating that are part human & part animal. The Bishops in the U.K. are stating that these beings have a right to live. Read the article.

After doing additional reading/research, these "scientists" are extracting some DNA and replacing it with animal DNA. For instance (and this is only a 'for instance' - no medical or scientific backing what-so-ever), extracting the DNA that makes us run with that of a cheetah so we can run faster & stronger.

(picture from BBCNews)

HOW FAST DO THEY WANT US TO GO????

Usain Bolt, from Jamaica, is considered the fastest man in the world - running 100 meters in 9.72 seconds! What, this isn't good enough? By the time the race started & he finished, I would have made 2 steps toward the finish line (there are times when I can barely get one foot in front of the other).

(picture from www.radiojamaica.com)

Sorry, sidetracked...back to the Bishops

Yes! If these cells start reproducing, they have a right to live - by God's moral standards. We already know that IVF and most of the bio-cell research is morally wrong, and the scientists will have to go before our Maker on judgement day. In the meantime, we, as moral human beings, must live by God's moral standards. And yes, if any of these experimental cells start dividing & redividing, we must give it a chance to live. It is only God who can decide when we are to die...not us.

The $600 Billion Human

I used to love to watch the $6 Million Man, Steve Austin and his sidekick, Dr. Oscar Goldman. As kids, we used to move slowly while muttering the infamous 'dididididididididididi' so it sounded like we were Steve Austin (or Jaimee Sommers - the Bionic Woman). And the theme of the show ... 'Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, Stronger, Faster.'

When is enough enough? When will we stop trying to make us better. (God made us - we are pretty darn good!) But ... better than what? We are not meant to have the talons of an Hawk, the beak of a Flamingo, or the running capacity of a Cheetah. Why try to downgrade us into animals? Humans are the most intelligent creatures on the face of the earth (of course, this is also questionable with all of this 'scientific research' going on). God made us with a very sofisticated mental ability - to be able to choose between good & evil...to be able to choose between right and wrong ... to be able to love, freely. We are meant to be superior over all of the animals ... so why are we trying to be like the animals? Why are we downgrading ourselves to be less than what we are?
(picture from www.itsafrickenconspiracy.com)

When will we finally be satisfied for being God's children? When will we stop trying to be or play god? Yes, we can clone beings - for certain there are animal clones, I shudder to think scientists have created a human clone (although not entirely out of the question) - we may be able to create a clone from cells, but we can not create the living cells.

This is my rant & rave. You may agree - you may disagree - that is totally up to you. For me, I am saddened by the fact that our scientists are focusing on making us less than what God made us to be, rather than focusing on the things that really count.

D-Day

2008-12-15T14:55:00.005-05:00

It's difficult to put into words all of the angst, pressures, temptations, fears, and
excitedness that I am feeling at this moment.

Yesterday it finally hit ... as I am sure it will many more times between now and February.

Yes, February!

You got it! Sometime in February I will be moving.
I'm not exactly sure when, but it seems like time has sped.

Tick - Tick - Tick

Yesterday at Mass, someone asked me how much longer. Without
thinking, I remarked, '2 months'.
2 Months!!! Oh no!!!
Wide-eyed, I looked at my parents, who attended Mass with me, and I must have
had a look of fear or trepidation on my face because my mom
started laughing. Of course, she's feeling the same.

Tick - Tick - Tick

I went to Confession this past Friday and the Priest made a
remark that really hit me - I am being tempted and succoming
to those temptations.

Okay, Priests & Religious everywhere... Help!
How do I combat these temptations? The fears, anxieties of leaving
'home', leaving the 'comforts' of 'home', leaving my parents & family
behind, managing to remain sane as I walk (actually I feel like I am running)
toward God and His plan for me? How did you do it?

Tick - Tick - Tick

2 Months!
And before I know it ... 1 Month! YIKES!

It was so nice to be able to say 'in a year & a half' or 'in 6 months'
because it was always far ahead in the future...
but as the clock keeps ticking, so does the time ... away.
And before I know it -

Tick - Tick - Tick

2 Months!

TOCK!

Changed by the Eucharist

2008-12-07T23:15:00.002-05:00

I recently had a learning experience about the Most Holy Eucharist.

At Mass & Adoration, I understand (granted I may understand although I do not fully comprehend) that Jesus is present, really and fully, although it's so magnanimous that it is difficult to comprehend it all. Yet, it's still Jesus & me...separated. I'm in the pew or the chair/kneeler and Jesus is present in the Eucharist on the Altar on in the Monstrance...in the same room but independent of each other. (photograph by Mike Hoyt) I would allow Jesus, even invite Him, pleading with Him, to enter into my heart. I thought this was all there was ... Jesus knocks on my heart, I open the door & ask Him to enter.

That is until I attended a session about the Eucharist after Saturday Mass a couple weeks ago.

The Gospel reading was about the Parable of the dishonest judge (Luke 18:1-8). The Pastor remarked that the widow refused to enter into the judge's world. Instead, she pleaded with him every day until he was so exasperated with her nagging that he decided to render her a just decision - just to get her off his back. In effect, she pulled him into her world.

Is it not the same with Jesus and us at Mass & Adoration? He wants us to join Him in His world - not ours. He wants us to experience Him in His Heavenly world, with the Father and the Holy Spirit, all the Saints and Angels.

Jesus IS the Head of the ecclesial Body. He asks us to partake in His divinity through this Body ... and through Him.

I have heard many Priests & other religious teachers explain how Jesus is not alone in the Eucharist. He is the second person of the Most Holy Trinity and cannot be separated from the Father nor the Holy Spirit. He is also present in 'real' time not at one moment in time. He is, at this moment, in Heaven, with the Father, the Holy Spirit, Mary, all the Saints and Angels...and He is inviting us into this Heavenly mixture - to experience the Heavenly bliss through Him, with Him, and in Him.

I understand yet I can not fathom the greatness of this experience. What joy to be drawn into Him and His world ... the fullness of joy I can only imagine.

The kings and comedy

2008-11-21T20:26:00.005-05:00

What would happen if the king met the king?

No, not just any king ... the 'King of Pop' met the 'King of Rock & Roll'

Watch & find out...

Now meet Taylor Mason. I'd love to see him in person!
What a night that would be!

The Role of the Blessed Virgin in our Lives

2008-11-21T16:20:00.005-05:00

I received this information from 'Message of Merciful Love to Little Souls', a daily dialogue between a woman in Belgium and Jesus from 1965 - 1975.

(Imprimateur: Thomas Holland, Bishop of Salford, 14 May 1979; Cardinal Gracias, Archbishop of Bombay, 13 March 1978).

Jesus:

Yes, Mary,

Pure Jewel of My Heaven
Mediatrix between Myself and men
Channel by which My graces flow to the children of the earth.
Mary, Shining Star, reigning over all the souls in Heaven and on earth

Do not disregard her power, for it is immense. It is through her that the spirit of evil will be vanquished. Judge, therefore, of the importance of prayer to Mary. Men's actions gain in value when they are done with her and through her. My heart is thrilled with joy when, with her maternal hands, she offers Me your gifts. If you know the heart of your gentle Mother better, you would be more appreciative of the gift of My love. Lover her, give yourself to her.

It is much more pleasing to Me to receive you from her hands. Can you conceive that I could reject you if she asks help and assistance for you? How sad for Me to see My Immaculate Mother so neglected, even in your churches. Render her the veneration due to her. She is My Mother and yours. Bond of union between us. I will be favorable to those who bear her true love, she who never ceases to pray for you.

She is the pillar of My Church. Nothing escapes her watchful gaze. She is terrible to the enemy. Trust yourselves to Mary. She will bring Me your sorrows, your cares, your joys. Have confidence in her. Lover her with the same love you have for Me. I shall not be jealous. And I gave her the care of leading you to her.

Jesus:
The bringing together of the peoples is desireable in so far as it does not injure the fundamental Truths of the Church. I will not suppress an iota of the devotion due to My holy Mother, evin if that should cause the suggested plan to fail. It is particularly painful for Me to note, in certain of My children, a want of love towards Mary. Know that he who loves Mary, loves Me too. Was I not formed in and nourished by this virginal flesh? Was it not in echo to her heart-beats that My Heart began to beat for you, My children? It is her 'fiat' that permitted the Redemption. It is she who was the first to love Me. Nothing is more pleasing to Me than the veneration of her maternal heart by your hearts. It is her herat which gave life to My humanity.

Jesus:
Be consoled my child, warm your heart at the flame of My Sacred Heart. Your knowledge of evil is limited. But as for Me, all the moral and physical distress which overwhelms humanity is revealed to Me. It is difficult to make myself loved. My Holy Mother stands between mankind and Me. Love her and pray to her with all our soul, for she is your Mother and she loves you with a love pediliction. Always remember it is she who put Me in your arms and gave you to Me.

(For more information regarding this book, write to: Pope Publications, PO Box 6161, San Rafael, CA 94903)

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection,
implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired with this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of Virgins, my Mother;
to you I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful;
O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions,
but in your mercy hear and answer me.
Amen.

You're A Good Person

2008-11-14T15:03:00.004-05:00

Here's an article (You're A Good Person) by Lorraine V. Murray about Confession that was posted in The Georgia Bulletin (Official newspaper of the Archdiocese of Atlanta).

Going to confession regularly—and by this I mean about every three or four weeks—helps me better understand who that person in the mirror really is. In fact, she is not such a good person, really. She can be incredibly vain, envious, angry, worried and selfish.

If I only go once or twice a year, I tend to forget many of my sins. If I yelled at someone in May, what are the chances I will remember that in December? Some people apparently believe confession is only for mortal sins. They figure if they are only committing the smaller transgressions, there is no reason to go. Problem is, overlooking a pile of little sins can pave the way to commit the big ones.

http://www.georgiabulletin.org/local/2008/11/13/good/

Satan does not want us to go to Confession. He wants us to think we are so good that we do not need to go. However, from personal experience, the more I visit the confessional and accuse myself of my sins, the more I realize how much I really need God in my life and how great His mercy is.

It's interesting - people think that just because I am going into the Convent (Trinitarians, hopefully soon) that I am this great holy person. I try and I fail. There are so many times that I cry during my examination of conscience because I know I do not deserve God's mercy. Yet He gives it to me freely.

Yes, there are times when I have to force myself to go through that doorway. But my love for God is greater than my fear and love of self. It has only been through God's grace that I am here today. He gave me His life freely, I am giving mine back to Him.

Children and Teens Abandoned by their Parents

2008-11-13T20:27:00.006-05:00

LINCOLN, Neb. – The mother was running out of more than patience when she abandoned her 18-year-old daughter at a hospital over the weekend under Nebraska's safe-haven law. She was also running out of time: She knew that state lawmakers would soon meet in a special session to amend the ill-fated law so that it would apply to newborns only.

"Where am I going to get help if they change the law?" said the mother, who lives in Lincoln and asked to not be identified by name to protect her adopted child.

To the state's surprise and embarrassment, more than half of the 33 children legally abandoned under the safe-haven law since it took effect in mid-July have been teenagers.

Here's the rest of the story: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081114/ap_on_re_us/safe_haven

WHAT is wrong with society? What is wrong with these parents?

When they abandon their teenage children, they are ultimately telling their children that they don't care; that no one cares. The teenage years are challenging and confusing enough as it is - multitudes of feelings, peer pressure, not fitting 'in', questioning 'who am I?', and feelings of aloneness; then to find out that not even your parents care about you!

My heart goes out to these children and parents. Yes, the kids have probably strung their parents up by their last nerve (tell me a teenager who hasn't at one point or another). Yes, they are probably unruly (again - teenagers - if they are unruly on the outside, just think about what's going on in their heads!). Yes, they probably talk back to their parents and others. Can you imagine the scars that are left behind because of this? At times teenagers feel that 'no one cares' - but not only to get that from your own parent - but for that parent to prove that it was true. How sad.

The parents need to be there for their children...in good times and in bad...in all times. There is no 'magic wand' that states which child will be the best behaved, the best educated, the best all-around child. Life is tough enough as it is - especially these days. Granted we may have many 'modern conveniences' but what we have in conveniences, we lack in good morals. WE, as neighbors, as friends, as the Body of Christ, need to be there for both these children and their parents...through prayer, a simple sacrifice, an ear.

These children and their parents need help. They need our support. They need our prayers!

Photo by Roar Christiansen - CARF

Evolution of a Wedding Dance

2008-11-12T04:28:00.002-05:00

If I were ever to get married, this would be the wedding dance I would want at my reception.

Enjoy!!

Brenden Foster

2008-11-11T08:44:00.003-05:00

What an amazing child!

Learn more about his faith, life and wish

http://www.2news.tv/news/local/34214019.html

Disturbing Thoughts

2008-11-05T07:41:00.004-05:00

It's 2:30 - I had to get up in just over an hour anyway ... I can't sleep. I have been tossing and turning since 2:00. Turning over, I grabbed my Rosary on the side of my bed and prayed. Medjugorje messages, Father Corapi's message (There is still a God in Heaven!), conversations ... all going through my mind.

After 20 minutes of praying the Rosary and various other prayers, I decided I might as well get up, get dressed and be ready for an early day at work. Thoughts of the new government have been invading my mind. I clicked on the web and the first news story I read disturbs me. 'Obama to Use Executive Orders for Immediate Impact.' What are some of these executive orders? Here are some of my predictions:

Abortion - under this new regime, I predict forced abortions and where a child of 9 years old can get an abortion without parental consent, yet this same child, can not get aspirin at school unless she has parent's and doctor's consent. This child can have a major surgical procedure yet can not have an aspirin for a headache. Forced abortions - scary thought - but I see it coming.

Euthenasia - I am predicting anyone with a serious illness, anyone in a nursing home, anyone in a health care facility will be immediately killed. They will be too much of a burden on the rest of society and to ease that burden, murdered.

Stem Cell Research - I am predicting that many of these aborted children will be used for "scientific research." As if abortion is not enough, using those aborted children to create hybrid beings and extra limbs all in the name of 'research.'

Armed Forces - I predict Obama will bring the troops out of Iraq, Afghanastan, and other countries by September 2009. We have a purpose in Iraq and we should not bring them home too soon. We are training their troops so they can continue this new form of government. If we bring them home too soon, they will revert back to their old ways - not because they want to - because they don't know anything else. These people we are training have never had to think for themselves, they have always followed orders, becoming 'yes' men. We are trying to train them to think for themselves, to question, but it is going to take time.

To be quite honest, I am not looking forward to this month's Medjugorje message (November 25th). I am frequently haunted with a vision of Mary looking at the world with tears in her eyes, tears for her children. I am scared for this country (and world), we have made a mess of everything and I pray my predictions do not come to fruition. I pray that we will have the sense to turn our ways and our eyes back to God, soon.

God in His infinite wisdom has a plan. I pray I am part of His plan. Maybe this is why I needed to be consecrated into Mary's Army (Militia Immaculata) - to fight for the Truth. I am not sure. Until the day when I see God face to face, I will continue to pray.

Saints & Souls

2008-10-31T20:13:00.006-04:00

Happy All Saints Day!

Happy All Souls Day!

Visit my new site: Purgatory Page

Add a name & Pray for a soul today!

Examination of Conscience - Ten Commandments & Precepts of the Church

2008-10-29T07:17:00.010-04:00

A Detailed Catholic Examination of Conscience

(Taken from Beginning Catholic)

A good Catholic Catholic examination of conscience can be a great help in making a new start in the life of faith. We use an examination of conscience to help call to mind our sins and failings during a period of quiet reflection before approaching the priest in Confession. It's important for a good Catholic examination of conscience to be thorough. This will help you learn about things that you may not be aware of. It's also a chance to develop your conscience. This is a critical aid for the beginning Catholic.

To make an examination:
Set aside some quiet time for reflection. Start by praying to the Holy Spirit, asking for help in making a good examination to prepare for Confession. Read through the items on this list and honestly reflect on your behavior for each item. If necessary, take this list or some brief notes (keep them private!) to Confession to help you remember things. A Catholic examination of conscience traditionally follows the outline of the Ten Commandments and the Precepts of the Catholic Church.

The Ten Commandments

First Commandment
I am the LORD your God. You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you serve.

Have I...
* Disobeyed the commandments of God or the Church?
* Refused to accept what God has revealed as true, or what the Catholic Church proposes for belief?
* Denied the existence of God?
* Nourished and protected my faith?
* Rejected everything opposed to a sound faith?
* Deliberately misled others about doctrine or the faith?
* Rejected the Catholic faith, joined another Christian denomination, or joined or practiced another religion?
* Joined a group forbidden to Catholics (Masons, communists, etc.)?
* Despaired about my salvation or the forgiveness of my sins?
* Presumed on God's mercy? (Committing a sin in expectation of forgiveness, or asking for forgiveness without conversion and practicing virtue.)
* Loved someone or something more than God (money, power, sex, ambition, etc.)?
* Let someone or something influence my choices more than God?
* Engaged in superstitious practices? (Incl. horoscopes, fortune tellers, etc.)
* Been involved in the occult? (Seances, ouija board, worship of Satan, etc.)
* Formally left the Catholic Church?
* Hidden a serious sin or told a lie in confession?

Second Commandment
You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.

Have I...
* Used the name of God in cursing or blasphemy?
* Failed to keep vows or promises that I have made to God?
* Spoken about the Faith, the Church, the saints, or sacred things with irreverence, hatred or defiance?
* Watched television or movies, or listened to music that treated God, the Church, the saints, or sacred things irreverently?
* Used vulgar, suggestive or obscene speech?
* Belittled others in my speech?
* Behaved disrespectfully in Church?
* Misused places or things set apart for the worship of God?
* Committed perjury? (Breaking an oath or lying under oath.)
* Blamed God for my failings?

Third Commandment
Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day.

Have I...
* Set time aside each day for personal prayer to God?
* Missed Mass on Sunday or Holy Days (through own fault w/o sufficient reason)?
* Committed a sacrilege against the Blessed Sacrament?
* Received a sacrament while in the state of mortal sin?
* Habitually come late to and/or leave early from Mass without a good reason?
* Shop, labor, or do business unnecessarily on Sunday or other Holy Days of Obligation?
* Not attend to taking my children to Mass?
* Knowingly eat meat on a forbidden day (or not fasting on a fast day)?
* Eat or drink within one hour of receiving Communion (other than medical need)?

Fourth Commandment
Honor your father and your mother.

Have I...
* (If still under my parents' care) Obeyed all that my parents reasonably asked of me?
* Neglected the needs of my parents in their old age or in their time of need?
* (If still in school) Obeyed the reasonable demands of my teachers?
* Neglected to give my children proper food, clothing, shelter, education, discipline and care (even after Confirmation)?
* Provided for the religious education and formation of my children for as long as they are under my care?
* Ensured that my children still under my care regularly frequent the sacraments of Penance and Holy Communion?
* Educated my children in a way that corresponds to my religious convictions?
* Provided my children with a positive, prudent and personalized education in the Catholic teaching on human sexuality?
* Been to my children a good example of how to live the Catholic Faith?
* Prayed with and for my children?
* Lived in humble obedience to those who legitimately exercise authority over me?
* Have I broken the law?
* Have I supported or voted for a politician whose positions are opposed to the teachings of Christ and the Catholic Church?

Fifth Commandment
You shall not kill.

Have I...
* Unjustly and intentionally killed a human being?
* Been involved in an abortion, directly or indirectly (through advice, etc.)?
* Seriously considered or attempted suicide?
* Supported, promoted or encouraged the practice of assisted suicide or mercy killing?
* Deliberately desired to kill an innocent human being?
* Unjustly inflicted bodily harm an another person?
* Unjustly threatened another person with bodily harm?
* Verbally or emotionally abused another person?
* Hated another person, or wished him evil?
* Been prejudiced, or unjustly discriminated against others because of their race, color, nationality, sex or religion?
* Joined a hate group?
* Purposely provoked another by teasing or nagging?
* Recklessly endangered my life or health, or that of another, by my actions?
* Driven recklessly or under the influence of alcohol or other drugs?
* Abused alcohol or other drugs?
* Sold or given drugs to others to use for non-therapeutic purposes?
* Used tobacco immoderately?
* Over-eaten?
* Encouraged others to sin by giving scandal?
* Helped another to commit a mortal sin (through advice, driving them somewhere, etc.?
* Caused serious injury or death by criminal neglect?
* Indulged in serious anger?
* Refused to control my temper?
* Been mean to, quarreled with, or willfully hurt someone?
* Been unforgiving to others, when mercy or pardon was requested?
* Sought revenge or hoped something bad would happen to someone?
* Delighted to see someone else get hurt or suffer?
* Treated animals cruelly, causing them to suffer or die needlessly?

Sixth & Ninth Commandments
You shall not commit adultery. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife.

Have I...
* Practiced the virtue of chastity?
* Given in to lust? (The desire for sexual pleasure unrelated to spousal love in marriage.)
* Used an artificial means of birth control?
* Refused to be open to conception, without just cause? (Catechism, 2368)
* Participated in immoral techniques for in vitro fertilization or artificial insemination?
* Sterilized my sex organs for contraceptive purposes?
* Deprived my spouse of the marital right, without just cause?
* Claimed my own marital right without concern for my spouse?
* Deliberately caused male climax outside of normal sexual intercourse? (Catechism, 2366)
* Willfully entertained impure thoughts?
* Purchased, viewed, or made use of pornography?
* Watched movies and television that involve sex and nudity?
* Listened to music or jokes that are harmful to purity?
* Committed adultery? (Sexual relations with someone who is married, or with someone other than my spouse.)
* Committed incest? (Sexual relations with a relative or in-law.)
* Committed fornication? (Sexual relations with someone of the opposite sex when neither of us is married.)
* Engaged in homosexual activity? (Sexual activity with someone of the same sex.)
* Committed rape?
* Masturbated? (Deliberate stimulation of one's own sexual organs for sexual pleasure.)
* Engaged in sexual foreplay (petting) reserved for marriage?
* Preyed upon children or youth for my sexual pleasure?
* Engaged in unnatural sexual activities?
* Engaged in prostitution, or paid for the services of a prostitute?
* Seduced someone, or allowed myself to be seduced?
* Made uninvited and unwelcome sexual advances toward another?
* Purposely dressed immodestly?

Seventh & Tenth Commandments
You shall not steal. You shall not covet your neighbor's goods.

Have I...
* Stolen? (Take something that doesn't belong to me against the reasonable will of the owner.)
* Envied others on account of their possessions?
* Tried to live in a spirit of Gospel poverty and simplicity?
* Given generously to others in need?
* Considered that God has provided me with money so that I might use it to benefit others, as well as for my own legitimate needs?
* Freed myself from a consumer mentality?
* Practiced the works of mercy?
* Deliberately defaced, destroyed or lost another's property?
* Cheated on a test, taxes, sports, games, or in business?
* Squandered money in compulsive gambling?
* Make a false claim to an insurance company?
* Paid my employees a living wage, or failed to give a full day's work for a full day's pay?
* Failed to honor my part of a contract?
* Failed to make good on a debt?
* Overcharge someone, especially to take advantage of another's hardship or ignorance?
* Misused natural resources?

Eighth Commandment
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

Have I...
* Lied?
* Knowingly and willfully deceived another?
* Perjured myself under oath?
* Gossiped?
* Committed detraction? (Destroying a person's reputation by telling others about his faults for no good reason.)
* Committed slander or calumny? (Telling lies about another person in order to destroy his reputation.)
* Committed libel? (Writing lies about another person in order to destroy his reputation.)
* Been guilty of rash judgment? (Assuming the worst of another person based on circumstantial evidence.)
* Failed to make reparation for a lie I told, or for harm done to a person's reputation?
* Failed to speak out in defense of the Catholic Faith, the Church, or of another person?
* Betrayed another's confidence through speech?

The Precepts of the Church

First Precept of the Church
You shall attend Mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation.
* (see examination under the Third Commandment)

Second Precept of the Church
You shall confess your sins at least once a year.

Have I...
* Made a good Confession of my mortal sins least once a year?
* Purposely omitted telling my mortal sins in my last Confession?
* Performed the penance I was given?
* Made reparation for any harm I have done to others?

Third Precept of the Church
You shall humbly receive your Creator in Holy Communion at least during the Easter season.

Have I...
* Fulfilled my Easter duty to receive Holy Communion at least once between the First Sunday of Lent and Trinity Sunday?
* Received Holy Communion while in the state of mortal sin?
* Fasted an hour before receiving Holy Communion?
* Received Holy Communion more than twice in one day?

Fourth Precept of the Church
You shall keep holy the Holy days of Obligation.
* (see examination under the Third Commandment)

Fifth Precept of the Church
You shall observe the prescribed days of fasting and abstinence.

Have I...
* Done penance every Friday, if not abstaining from meat, then some other form of penance?
* Abstained from meat on Ash Wednesday and the Fridays of Lent (if I am 14 years of age or older)?
* Fasted on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday (if I am between the ages of 18 and 59)?
* Spent time in prayer, doing spiritual and corporal works of mercy, and practicing self-denial?

Sixth Precept of the Church
You shall contribute to the support of the Church.

Have I...
* Contributed a just amount of my time, talents and money to support my parish and the work of the Church?

Seventh Precept of the Church
You shall observe the laws of the Church concerning marriage.

Have I...
* Been living in a valid and licit marriage according to the laws of the Catholic Church?
* Abandoned my spouse and family by separation or divorce?
* Kept company with someone whom I cannot marry in the Catholic Church?
* Given scandal by living with a member of the opposite sex without the benefit of a marriage blessed by the Catholic Church?
* Entered into marriage with more than one person at the same time?

This detailed Catholic examination of conscience should help you reflect on how you are responding to the demands made by the love of God.

The Greatest Commandments

2008-10-23T07:06:00.004-04:00

As I reflected over this coming Sunday's readings, a barrage of thoughts came flooding. Some were statements from CDs and talks I had listened to and attended, others were from recent readings, and yet others were reflections within my mind.

This Sunday's Gospel is about the Greatest Commandment. Jesus is asked for one, however He gives two: 'You shall love the Lord, Your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all mind. This is the greatest and the first Commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets rely on these two Commandments.'

Some of the thoughts that came to mind during my reflection were:

Open my eyes to see as You see
No one is so faulty that You can not make them a Saint
My weakness is no deterrent to His grace
The only one who could fulfill the justice of God is God Himself
There are no limits to the mercy of God
We are called to be Saints - to be holy
We affect everyone we come in contact with - everyone in our lives
Jesus gives us a new Commandment: Love one another AS I HAVE LOVED YOU

So many thoughts running through - but what do they all mean?

Love your neighbor as yourself. Do I love myself? If I do not love myself, how can I love my neighbor? There is dignity and honor to being one's neighbor. I have the choice to love God, love myself, and love my neighbor. Do I act upon that love?

Then I started thinking about my neighbor - WHO is my neighbor? Geography came to mind - people next door, down the street, next street over, parishioners in my Church, and others who I come in contact with every day.

Then THAT neighbor came to mind. You know the one. The one who is absolutely obnoxious; drives you crazy; makes you upset just looking at him/her. The one most unlike (like) you - or - The one who uses your things and never puts them away; the one who borrows things and returns them broken; the one who allows their dog to poop in your yard and never picks it up; the one who revs the bike late at night when you're trying to relax or sleep; the one who plays that loud, awful music; the neighbor you would love to hate. And you think, Oh, if only God would allow it just this one time. And He humbles you.

There are no limits to the mercy of God. We are all God's children - He would never forsake one of His children. The refusal of God's Fatherly love is always at the root of humanity's divisions. How can I say that I love God and not love this neighbor? If we are all made in the image and likeness of God ... then that goes for my neighbor as well. God loves my neighbor, even the most obnoxious of all neighbors, despite their faults. We have a certain dignity in being in the image and likeness of God. We also have a responsibility as such.

True love of God yeilds love for our neighbor - without it, it may temporarily relieve our [my] conscience, but it will never bear lasting fruit. ~ Pope John Paul II

St. Jude

2008-10-22T05:44:00.004-04:00

A Prayer to St. Jude

Most holy apostle, St. Jude,

faithful servant and friend of Jesus,

the Church honors and invokes you universally,

as the patron of hopeless cases,

of things almost despaired of.

Pray for me, I am so helpless and alone.

Make use I implore you,

of that particular privilege given to you,

to bring visible and speedy help where

help is almost despaired of.

Come to my assistance in this great

need that I may receive the consolation

and help of heaven in all my necessities,

tribulations, and sufferings, particularly

(here make your request)

and that I may praise God with you and

all the elect forever.

I promise, O blessed St. Jude,

to be ever mindful of this great favor,

to always honor you as my special

and powerful patron,

and to gratefully encourage devotion to you.

Amen.

Prayers for our Priests

2008-10-21T19:36:00.005-04:00

Special prayers are needed for the Priests in the Cleveland Diocese.

They are attending a Convocation for the week.

Please keep them all in your prayers.

My prayers for them

That the Holy Spirit will come down upon them and rekindle

their love for our Lord and the excitement they had becoming Priests.

That Mary, our Heavenly Mother, will guide their discussions.

That the Lord's will shall always be first and foremost in their hearts and minds.

Co-mingled with God

2008-10-21T08:59:00.005-04:00

This tale is a great example of how we are all co-mingled with God - we are one Body - the Body of Christ. We are all in common union with each other, with God as our leader.

*********************************

On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late at Almighty God Tabernacle, his church, and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00pm, the pastor let the phone ring many times, but his wife did not answer. He thought it was odd but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes. When he called again, she answered immediately. He asked her why she had not answered before, she replied that the phone had never rung. They brushed it off as a fluke.

The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office. The man that he spoke with wanted to know why the pastor had called that Saturday night. The pastor could not figure out what the gentleman was saying. Then the man said, 'It rang and rang, but I did not answer.' The pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he had intended to call his wife.

The man said, 'That quite okay. Let me tell you my story. You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night, but before I did, I prayed, 'God, if you are there, and you do not want me to do this, give me a sign now.' At that point, my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it said 'Almighty God'. I was afraid to answer.'

***************************************

We may never know why God wants us to do something - but it is all part of His plan.

What is in a Name?

2008-10-18T18:01:00.011-04:00

We all have heard this Sacrament being called by many names:

* Confession
* Forgiveness
* Penance
* Reconciliation (also Penance & Reconciliation)
* Conversion
* Healing

Accusing ourselves of sins, confessing these sins, forgiveness, absolution, receiving God’s mercy, reconciling with the Church, conversion of our hearts and souls, performing the given penance, and our resolve never to offend God again – these are all aspects of this Sacrament. The names most commonly heard are the aspects associated with this Sacrament. What is the Sacrament’s real name?

Let’s take a closer look at each of these aspects.

Accusation & Confession of Sins

We accuse ourselves of the sins committed after Baptism and confess them to Jesus Christ, through a Priest. Why sins committed after Baptism? At our Baptism, we are created anew. The sins of Adam and Eve (original sin) are wiped away; we are then christened with water and oil signifying that we are now a part of God’s family. The sins committed after Baptism are the ones we commit against God and neighbor. We need to atone for these sins, requesting God’s mercy, in order to share in His Heavenly Kingdom.

God is pure holiness and nothing unholy can enter His Kingdom.

In the Parable of the Wedding Feast, a man sent invitations to all his relatives, friends, and neighbors, asking them to come and share in this joyous occasion. When his friends and neighbors refused to come immediately, he called for the poor, blind, and lame, the outcasts of society. Before they could enter, they are given basins to wash in and new clothes to wear. One man entered the home not dressed properly for the feast and was immediately escorted out of the house and off the estate.

If our hearts and souls are not properly cleansed, we cannot enter into God’s Kingdom nor join in His Heavenly banquet.

‘In a profound sense, it is also a ‘confession’ – acknowledgement and praise – of the holiness of God and His mercy toward the sinful man.’ You were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God. One must appreciate the magnitude of the gift God has given us in the Sacraments of Christian Initiation in order to grasp the degree to which sin is excluded for Him who has ‘put on Christ.’ But the Apostle John also says: ‘If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.’ And the Lord, Himself, taught us to pray: ‘Forgive us our trespasses’ linking our forgiveness of one another’s offenses to the forgiveness of our sins that God will grant us. (CCC 1424 – 1425)

We need to go into Confession with a contrite heart. Contrition is true sorrow for your sins with the resolution not to sin again. Perfect contrition is when your sorrow and repugnance for sins committed comes from a love for God Who is loved above all else. Contrition is imperfect when the fear of damnation and other punishments that could occur because of our sins are greater than the love for God. By itself, imperfect contrition cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins (mortal sins), but it does influence the sinner to obtain forgiveness through this Sacrament. (CCC 1453)

By confessing our sins, we are taking an in-depth look at ourselves and the sins we are guilty of, taking responsibility for them, and opening ourselves up to God and into common union with the Church.

‘Those who approach the Sacrament of Penance, obtain pardon from God’s mercy for the offenses committed against Him, and are, at the same time, reconciled with the Church, which they have wounded by their sins and which by charity, by example and by prayer, works for their conversion.’ (Lumen Gentium II)

Forgiveness

Jesus instituted and entrusted to His disciples a gift of His love and mercy, a gift of forgiveness of sins. ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive, they are forgiven. Whose sins you retain, they are retained.’ (John 20:22)

Through Jesus Christ, forgiveness of sins is offered to each person by means of sacramental absolution by His Priests, the ministers of the Sacrament. The Council of Trent stated that Jesus instituted this Sacrament so the faithful, who have fallen into sin after Baptism, might receive God’s grace and mercy and be reconciled with God and the Church. When the Priest absolves you of your sins, Christ is absolving you. God’s Priests are the stewards of the Sacraments; the Priest’s work is secondary to Jesus. What was visible through Jesus’ work on earth has passed over into His mysteries.

Throughout history, God made covenants with His people, and sealed the covenants with an outward sign, a physical sign, and a shared meal.

* Noah – rainbow; sacrifice of animals
* Abraham – circumcision; sacrificial lamb
* Moses – sprinkling of blood of first born lamb; first born lamb
* Us – A New Covenant – Jesus; the Lamb of God

At the heart of every Biblical covenant, there is a solemn and sacred oath, with real power to change lives and history. The Sacraments still carry this power today. When we confess our sins and ask for God’s forgiveness, we are also vowing to God that we will not sin again and will amend our lives.

But the effect of this Sacrament depends on our disposition to receive it. Are we truly sorry for offending God? Do we regret asking God to partake in our sin? Yes, when we sin, we are ultimately asking God to partake in the very sin we are committing. God made us in His image and likeness, and through Baptism, we become members of His family, partaking in a share of His Divine Nature. When we sin, we are asking God to also partake in that sin, which He is unable to do. By our sin, we offend God.

Confessing our sins and receiving forgiveness, restores us into God’s family.

The Sacramental Rites strengthen our resolve through His Divine Grace, so that we may also enjoy in the Divine society, the Communion of Saints. Jesus Christ is the redeemer of the world. He is also the creator, the second Person in the Most Holy Trinity. The One Who made matter and spirit also redeems matter and spirit; and He uses that matter and spirit to redeem us as well.

In the Our Father, we petition God to forgive our sins, but not only to forgive them, but also to forgive them ‘as we forgive others who sin against us.’ His mercy cannot penetrate our hearts if they are hardened against our brothers and sisters. The heart of the elder son in the Parable of the Prodigal Son was full of resentment and hatred toward his brother. When his brother returned, the mercy and forgiveness that his father had toward his brother was not able to penetrate his own heart, it was full of the enmity and prejudice and not open to God’s love and mercy. Love, like the Body of Christ, is indivisible; we cannot love the God we cannot see if we do not love the brother or sister we do see. In confessing our sins, our hearts are opened to God’s Grace. (CCC 2840)

In the Last Supper discourses of St. John’s Gospel, Jesus gives us a New Commandment: ‘You therefore, must be perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. A new Commandment I give to you, that you love one another, as I have loved you.’ (John 13: 34) Not only are we to love each other, we are to love each other as Jesus loves us. Jesus’ love for us loves to the end of time. As disciples, we are commissioned to do the same.

The Parable of the Merciless Servant ends with ‘…so also my Heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.’ (Matthew 18:23-35) God will forgive us as we forgive others. If the resentment and hatred fills our hearts and we are unwilling to forgive them, God will forgive us in exactly the same way. ‘The heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession.’ (CCC 2843)

Jesus insists on forgiving our brothers and sisters: turning the other cheek, giving our cloak to the one who has taken our coat, forgiving and loving our enemies, and granting forgiveness seventy times seven times, without limit.

Absolution & Reconciliation

When we confess our sins, we are reconciled back to God, Who is anxiously waiting to take us back. We are also reconciled back to the Church, the Body of Christ, who was also wounded by our sins. He who lives by God’s merciful love is ready to respond to the Lord’s call: ‘Therefore, if you bring your gift to the Altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the Altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.’ (Matthew 5: 23-24)

During His public life, Jesus not only forgave sins, but also made plain the effect of this forgiveness: He reintegrated forgiven sinners back into the community from which their sin had them alienated or even excluded. A remarkable sign of this fact is that Jesus receives sinners at His table, a gesture that expresses in an astonishing way both God’s forgiveness and the return to the bosom of the people of God. (CCC 1443)

Reconciliation with the Church is entwined from the reconciliation to God. They are inseparable.

In the Parable of the Prodigal Son, the younger son sins against his father by asking for his inheritance before his father is dead, stating that his father is already dead. The son is mesmerized by the temptation of living on his own, independent of his father and family. He becomes disappointed by the emptiness of the mirage but pride keeps him from returning. Alone and dejected, the son hits rock bottom and finally decides to return to his father’s house, humiliated. No longer feeling worthy as a son, he returns ready to become a slave.

We do the same thing every time we sin. By our sins, we proclaim that God is dead; that we can do anything and everything without his assistance and love. We decide that we can live the way WE want rather than doing His will.

Once we find that our way does not provide satisfaction, we return humiliated and broken, no longer feeling worthy to be His sons and daughters, we beg His forgiveness and ask to become hired hands.

‘The Church can forgive nothing without Christ and Christ does not wish to forgive anything without the Church. The Church can forgive nothing except to a penitent, that is to say, to a person whom Christ has touched with His grace: Christ does not wish to consider anything forgiven in a person who despises the Church.’ Sumo 11 (1 Dominica II Post Epiphaniam, 1)

When we forgive, our hearts have to be open to forgiveness and mercy. If they are hardened, we will be unable to receive God’s graces and love. God, Who has been anxiously awaiting our return, is waiting with open arms; He welcomes us back, forgiving and forgetting our sins. We are made anew – we are reborn, restored into His family.

Jesus prepared His Priests to act as fathers in the Church. They forgive like the father forgives in the Parable of the Prodigal Son. They help God’s children to be properly cleansed and clothed for the Heavenly banquet, to be reconciled back to God and the Church. The most important thing the Priest does in this Sacrament is to pronounce the words of absolution:

‘God, the Father of mercies,through the death and the resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among usfor the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Churchmay God give you pardon and peace,and I absolve you from your sinsin the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.’

Penance & Satisfaction

It is called the Sacrament of Penance since it consecrates us, as sinners, to personal and ecclesial steps of conversion, penance, and satisfaction. For after we confess, we make amends for our sins. In our penance, we are not paying the price for our sins, since no human price could match what Jesus obtained for us on the Cross. It is, however, a personal commitment to God to begin anew. It is a way to join our physical and spiritual mortification to the Passion of Jesus, who obtained forgiveness for us.

In order to have the sins forgiven and absolved, the penitent receives from the confessor what is called a ‘penance’, usually in the form of prayers, actions, fasting, alms, the Stations of the Cross, etc. The confessor, according to the sins revealed, determines the quality and extent of the penance. Sometimes the penance can be performed immediately, other times it may take a couple days, such as during Holy Week. Penance can also be defined as ‘The payment of the temporal punishment due on account of the offence committed against God by sin.’ (St. Thomas, Summa Theologicae Supplement. 12.3)

In the early Church, not only were the confessions heard publicly, but also public penance was prescribed and performed in order to ensure that the penance was completed.

Conversion of our hearts & souls

Although we receive pardon for our sins through this Sacrament and God’s grace and mercy, it does not permit us to commit sin in the future. In fact, if we go to Confession with the attitude of expecting forgiveness and the intention of committing future sins, expecting those will also be forgiven, not only is our confession meaningless, but we have also sinned to a much greater degree.

This is a Sacrament of Conversion because it makes Sacramentally present, Jesus’ call to conversion, the first step in returning to the Father after straying by sin. (CCC 1423) We recognize ourselves as sinners and inclined to commit sin, but through this Sacrament, God’s grace, and His mercy, our hearts are returned to God’s. When we request this Sacrament frequently, it also gives us greater resistance against sin and a resolve to do what is right and pleasing to God. When we are faced with difficulties, we can and are encouraged to seek assistance from friends, Priests, or Religious, who are faithful, prudent, and well informed of the Church’s teachings and the Catholic Faith. The Church also invites us to take our concerns to God in a special way, through this Sacrament.

At times, more than one decision can be morally justified but we may never do evil so that good may result from it. (CCC 1789)

Moral and spiritual conversion must be rooted in prayer and the Sacraments, especially the Sacraments of Reconciliation and Eucharistic. The more we pray with humility before God, the better we will be able to hear Him speak in the depths of our hearts. If we sincerely desire to live in a manner holy and pleasing to God, we must ask for the help of the Holy Spirit, Who will remain in us and lead us all to Truth. A conscience formed by the Spirit of Truth will be upright and reliable. (How to Form Your Catholic Conscience)

Contrition and Conversion draw us nearer to God, through rediscovering our true identity, which was upset and disturbed by sin. It is a liberation of the very depth of self and thus a regaining of lost joy, the joy of being saved, which the majority of people in our time are no longer capable of experiencing. (Pope John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation – Reconciliation and Penance)

So, what is the real name? It depends on which aspect you are speaking. As a whole, the Church, in the Catechism, says it is the Sacrament of Penance. Pope John Paul II, in his Apostolic Exhortation – Reconciliation and Penance, calls it both the Sacrament of Reconciliation and Sacrament of Reconciliation and Penance. In Lumen Gentium II, the Sacrament is called the Sacrament of Penance. As long as you frequent the confessional with a humble and contrite heart, it really does not matter.

Confessional Humor

2008-10-14T21:11:00.012-04:00

Part of the reason why I love the Sacrament of Confession so much is because of what I have learned. I have made so many errors making my confessions. Looking back upon the myriads of mistakes, I'm sure when I walked into the confessional, my regular confessors were shaking their heads & thinking, 'oh no, not her again.' LOL
(they probably still are)

Remember...I'm a cradle Catholic! It took me 30+ some years to finally figure out WHAT I'm supposed to do & say.

Here's a for instance...

When I first started going to confession regularly, I would try to memorize my sins. By the time I got into the confessional and in front of the Priest, I would be so nervous that I would forget everything. Yes, I mean everything; sins, Sign of the Cross, even the Act of Contrition. So I started making 'laundry lists' and taking the Act of Contrition, written on a piece of paper, with me into the confessional.

However, I never really studied HOW I was supposed to go to confession, the process, and made more blunders.

I would rattle off my laundry list of sins as fast as I could, hoping that the Priest would not hear everything. Once done, I would fold up my list, put my hands in my lap, and look at the Priest.

I wondered why the Priest always asked me, 'Is that all?'
Thinking...What? Isn't this enough? You want more? You want my blood, too?
(although never stated aloud).

With a little trepidation, I politely answered 'yeah.'

It took me quite a few months and a lot of reading about the Sacrament before I figured out that I am supposed to let the Priest know I'm done by saying something like 'for these and all my sins I am truly sorry.' Guess the hand signals and eye contact were not enough, eh?

So if you go into the confessional and make mistakes, don't worry ... I've already made them all and I still love this Sacrament! Go ahead ... make a list of sins and bring in a prayer card with the Act of Contrition. I did, and still do; it really helps.

Purgatory Box

2008-10-14T07:50:00.005-04:00

I was reviewing some information on Spirit Daily and came across this article:

http://www.spiritdaily.com/neri.htm

What a wonderful idea! A couple years ago I had so many people ask me to pray for them, I was 'forgetting' to put some on the Altar at Mass and then I felt horrid! How could I forget this person? I felt as if I let them down. That was when I created my 'Jesus Jar.' It is a wicker basket (actually a kleenex box basket with lid) where I drop in a note with a prayer intention or a person's name that I am praying for. At Mass now, I place the 'Jesus Jar' on the Altar - and I know everyone is included.

Why not do the same with those in Purgatory? I have already listed relatives who have died in my Jesus Jar (my grandparents - both sides; Aunts; Uncles; Friends; and others who I know need prayers)...but why not include more? Why not include all of the Priests, Deacons, Religious, and all lay people in the Jesus Jar - or - in this case - a Purgatory Package.

I have been told that there are many in Purgatory who need our prayers. When they are finally lifted into Heaven, able to share in God's Heavenly Kingdom, they pray for those who prayed for them, asking God to send us graces beyond our comprehension.

I have some International Coffee boxes in my office - I think I will convert one into a Purgatory Package...and pray for them often.

St. Gertrude the Great prayer: A prayer which would release 1,000 souls from purgatory each time it is said.

"Eternal father, I offer you the most precious blood of thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for all the Holy Souls in Purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the universal church, those in my own home and within my family. - Amen"

Presidential Answers

2008-10-14T01:51:00.000-04:00

Answers:

1) The only President to serve on the Supreme Court William H. Taft
2) The playing 'Hail to the Chief' at Presidential functions was started by his second wife, Julia John Tyler

3) The first President to be born in a hospital Jimmy Carter
4) Supersition of retracing his steps was an asset in leading troops in battle during the war Ulysses S. Grant

5) Sent Lewis and Clark to explore the Louisiana Purchase Thomas Jefferson
6) First President to wear long trousers. All previous wore knee breeches James Madison
7) Answered the White House telephone, personally Grover Cleveland
8) Only President to be sworn into office on Air Force One Lyndon B. Johnson
9) November 7, 1848 was the first time a Presidential election was held on the same day in every state Zachary Taylor
10) First President of the United States of America George Washington
11) First President to travel under water in a submarine Harry S. Truman
12) Gave his 3,319-word inaugural address from memory, without the aid of notes Franklin Pierce

13) The only President who served both in the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812 Andrew Jackson

14) Was known as a man of few words and was even nicknamed 'Silent Cal' Calvin Coolidge
15) The first President to be born in the United States Martin Van Buren
16) The first President to resign his office Richard M. Nixon
17) At 6 foot, 4 inches, he was the tallest President Abraham Lincoln
18) Had a putting green installed on the White House lawn Dwight D. Eisenhower
19) Established the first permanent library in the White House Millard Fillmore
20) The oldest person to be elected President Ronald Regan
21) The only President to serve two nonconsecutive terms Grover Cleveland
22) First President to have an asteroid named after him Herbert Hoover
23) Brought six states into the union. This was more than any other President in one term Benjamin Harrison

24) Created the Peace Corps John F. Kennedy
25) Expanded the United States westward to the Pacific Ocean James K. Polk
26) First President to graduate from law school Rutherford B. Hayes
27) First President to be photographed John Quincy Adams
28) First President to live in the White House John Adams
29) Reformed the civil service by signing the Pendleton Act Chester A. Arthur
30) First Vice President made President after an assassination Andrew Johnson
31) First President to use radio to speak to the American public Franklin D. Roosevelt
32) Established the Office of Homeland Security George W. Bush
33) First President to arrive at his inauguration in an automobile Warren G. Harding
34) Survived not one, but two attempted assassinations Gerald R. Ford
35) Wrote Latin with one hand and Greek with the other James A. Garfield
36) President during the fall of the Berlin Wall George Bush
37) First Presidnet to have been a U.S. Senator James Monroe
38) The only President who studied to become a doctor William Henry Harrison
39) First President to hold a press conference Woodrow Wilson
40) First President to have been a Rhodes Scholar William Clinton
41) The only President who never married James Buchanan
42) Always wore a red carnation in his lapel for good luck William McKinley
43) The stuffed, cuddly teddy bear was named after this President Theodore Roosevelt

My Choice ... Blessings or Curses

2008-10-13T05:31:00.006-04:00

I am in a Scott Hahn Bible study about the Bible and the Sacraments. I had a profound realization last night when I was reflecting on what we studied on the Eucharist.

God created a New Covenant for us, through Jesus Christ. The Eucharistic Prayer (as well as the Apostle's Creed) is the terms of this Covenant. Every time we accept the Covenant through our proclaiming the Great Amen and sealed with partaking of The paschal Lamb, we choose to accept the blessings and curses that come with that Covenant.

Every time I proclaim the Great Amen, whether in voice or song, and eat of the flesh of the Son of Man, the paschal mystery, the Eucharist, I choose to accept the blessings and the curses, based on my adherence to that Covenant.

Wow!

So, every time I give unselfishly, forgive my neighbor, sacrifice or pray for someone, or love a stranger, I choose to accept the blessings of the Covenant, the blessings that God may grant me for adhering to the terms of the Covenant.

However, every time I sin, or say something against my neighbor, or harbor hatred, or refuse to put God first and foremost in my life, I choose the curses. I choose. God didn't choose for me, I chose! God gave me free will, the freedom to choose between good and evil. If I do not choose God, I choose the curse of my decision.

Looking back...

At one time, I used to be a 'cafeteria Catholic' - Catholic only in name, not in deed. I chose which parts of the Catholic faith I wanted to believe and act upon. Birth control, death penalty (in some cases), and gay marriage were some of the things I used to think the Catholic faith was too old fashioned and needed to come into the 21st century. Because of my actions, talking with friends, or even electing a candidate who believed in these things, I was not choosing God's way - I was choosing man's way. Because I was still receiving the Most Holy Eucharist, I was also choosing the curses that came with my decision.

This brings a very profound realization to mind when I receive the Most Holy Eucharist now. How am I going to behave? What am I going to decide?

Blessing ... or ... Curse

A Quiz of Presidential Value

2008-10-11T09:49:00.005-04:00

In honor of Columbus Day, I thought I would post a very Presidential quiz. See how many you can get correct. I will post the answers on Tuesday, October 14th.

Questions:

1) The only President to serve on the Supreme Court
2) The playing 'Hail to the Chief' at Presidential functions was started by his second wife, Julia
3) The first President to be born in a hospital
4) Supersition of retracing his steps was an asset in leading troops in battle during the war
5) Sent Lewis and Clark to explore the Louisiana Purchase
6) First President to wear long trousers. All previous wore knee breeches
7) Answered the White House telephone, personally
8) Only President to be sworn into office on Air Force One
9) November 7, 1848 was the first time a Presidential election was held on the same day in every state
10) First President of the United States of America
11) First President to travel under water in a submarine
12) Gave his 3,319-word inaugural address from memory, without the aid of notes
13) The only President who served both in the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812
14) Was known as a man of few words and was even nicknamed 'Silent Cal'
15) The first President to be born in the United States
16) The first President to resign his office
17) At 6 foot, 4 inches, he was the tallest President
18) Had a putting green installed on the White House lawn
19) Established the first permanent library in the White House
20) The oldest person to be elected President
21) The only President to serve two nonconsecutive terms
22) First President to have an asteroid named after him
23) Brought six states into the union. This was more than any other President in one term
24) Created the Peace Corps
25) Expanded the United States westward to the Pacific Ocean
26) First President to graduate from law school
27) First President to be photographed
28) First President to live in the White House
29) Reformed the civil service by signing the Pendleton Act
30) First Vice President made President after an assassination
31) First President to use radio to speak to the American public
32) Established the Office of Homeland Security
33) First President to arrive at his inauguration in an automobile
34) Survived not one, but two attempted assassinations
35) Wrote Latin with one hand and Greek with the other
36) President during the fall of the Berlin Wall
37) First Presidnet to have been a U.S. Senator
38) The only President who studied to become a doctor
39) First President to hold a press conference
40) First President to have been a Rhodes Scholar
41) The only President who never married
42) Always wore a red carnation in his lapel for good luck
43) The stuffed, cuddly teddy bear was named after this President

Presidents:

a) George Washington
b) John Adams
c) Thomas Jefferson
d) James Madison
e) James Monroe
f) John Quincy Adams
g) Andrew Jackson
h) Martin Van Buren
i) William Henry Harrison
j) John Tyler
k) James K. Polk
l) Zachary Taylor
m) Millard Fillmore
n) Franklin Pierce
o) James Buchanan
p) Abraham Lincoln
q) Andrew Johnson
r) Ulysses S. Grant
s) Rutherford B. Hayes
t) James A. Garfield
u) Chester A. Arthur
v) Grover Cleveland
w) Benjamin Harrison
x) Grover Cleveland
y) William McKinley
z) Theodore Roosevelt
aa) William H. Taft
bb) Woodrow Wilson
cc) Warren G. Harding
dd) Calvin Coolidge
ee) Herbert Hoover
ff) Franklin D. Roosevelt
gg) Harry S. Truman
hh) Dwight D. Eisenhower
ii) John F. Kennedy
jj) Lyndon B. Johnson
kk) Richard M. Nixon
ll) Gerald R. Ford
mm) Jimmy Carter
nn) Ronald Regan
oo) George Bush
pp) William Clinton
qq) George W. Bush

Bloggers - anyone can post this on their blog - see how many of your readers can get these correct.

Good luck!!

The Need for Confession

2008-10-09T22:12:00.006-04:00

There's something very humbling about needing to 'take some of your own medicine.' Ever since my week visit with the Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity, I have not attended Mass regularly on weekdays and I have not gone to Confession since just before then - 4 weeks! ouch! I have used every excuse in the book! Work. Sleep. Get off early from work. Oh, I'll attend noon Mass. I'll go tomorrow. I didn't do a good examination of conscience. You name it, I probably made an excuse with it. (I'm sure 'my dog ate my homework' is in there somewhere).

I am such a hypocrite! I tell people how wonderful this Sacrament is - and then I make every excuse NOT to go. What's wrong with this picture? (!)

So, to be quite honest, during Adoration last night, I read over an examination of conscience. I can't remember the last time I wept before Jesus in Adoration ... but as I wrote down my sins (yes, I write a 'laundry list' so I can remember what my sins are when I attend Confession), prayed, reread them, and said an Act of Contrition, I wept. I knew in that moment that I helped torture our Lord and Savior.

Now I'm struggling over whether to go early tomorrow morning (Friday) at the Cathedral or wait until Saturday morning and go to my Spiritual Advisor. I really want to go tomorrow morning and attend Mass. But there is an equally strong side of me that really wants my Spiritual Advisor to hear my Confession. If I wait until I go to my Spiritual Advisor, I do not feel worthy to attend Mass and receive our Lord on Friday. If I go to the Cathedral on Friday, my Spiritual Advisor won't hear my confession, another Priest will, not that it is bad, it's just not my Spiritual Advisor. Am I making any sense, Lord????

Lord, give me direction!

Update:

I totally missed Confession & Mass on Friday morning. However, I went to see my Spiritual Advisor today - and I can't tell you what a blessing it is to have him hear my Confession and talk with him. He has such a gentle and humble soul and guides me toward the life God wants me to live. Now that my soul has been cleansed, I will attend the vigil Mass.

Symbols of the Sacrament of Penance & Reconciliation

2008-10-07T07:14:00.001-04:00

The Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation is a Sacrament of healing and forgiveness. Through the Sacrament, the penitent receives forgiveness from God for the offenses committed against God and the community. Through this Sacrament, the penitent is resurrected from a spiritual death. St. Maximilian Kolbe said that our lives are meaningless without God; that it is only by dying to ourselves that we may live eternally. For this Sacrament to truly achieve its purpose, it must be an integral part of our lives and bring us into a deeper and more fervent love and service of God and neighbor.

The action of the penitent is a symbol of forgiveness and reconciliation and is attributed to God's grace. Approaching the Sacrament with contrition and repentance, resolving to sin no more, takes place within the context of an awareness of God's love. The penitent trusts in God's mercy, compassion, healing, and forgiveness. Contrition and conversion draw the penitent nearer to the holiness of God, into a deeper intimacy with God, and a rediscovering of one’s true identity as a child of God. Reconciliation is a symbol of life - dying to sin and rising to new life.

The sacrament of Reconciliation is an action that is symbolic. Its aim is to reconcile sinners to God and the community of believers (the Church – the Body of Christ). It is a gift from a merciful God to humanity in order to reconcile the world to Himself. God is actively reconciling in the Sacrament. Reconciliation is the symbol of God and the Church who are mutually related.

The major symbols in the Church for the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation are: Keys, Purple Stole, Raised Hand, Sign of the Cross, and a Scourging Whip.

Keys. Keys crisscrossed in the shape of an “X” are the most common symbol for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. The symbol originates with Jesus’ words to Peter, “I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in Heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven” (Matthew 16:19), by which He established the Sacrament of Reconciliation and gave the Church the authority to forgive sins (see also John 20:21-23: ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained’).

Stole. The stole is the primary symbol of the ordained priesthood. It is the priest in persona Christi, as a representative of Christ who grants Sacramental absolution. Christ is the High Priest behind the priest. A stole is a long, narrow strip of cloth worn over the shoulders, which hangs in front in equal lengths on the right and left sides. The stole signifies the priest’s authority to preside over the Sacraments in general, and his authority to absolve sins in particular. When a priest hears confessions, he wears a purple stole, which symbolizes repentance and sorrow.

A Raised Hand. During the Sacrament of Reconciliation, after the penitent makes the Act of Contrition, the priest offers the Prayer of Absolution, the blessing that removes the person’s sins, and as he does so he extends his right hand over the penitent’s head.

Sign of The Cross. The priest makes a Sign of the Cross over the penitent as he recites the final words of the Prayer of Absolution, “And I absolve you from all your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” Jesus “himself bore our sins in his body upon the Cross” (1 Peter 2:24a). Jesus has reconciled all things through himself, and he has made peace by the blood of his Cross (Colossians 1:20).

Scourging Whip. Before Jesus, our Suffering Servant, was crucified, He was scourged at the pillar. “He was crushed for our sins, by His stripes we were healed; through His suffering, my Servant shall justify many, and their guilt He shall bear; He shall take away the sins of many, and win pardon for their offenses” (Isaiah 53:5,11,12). The apostle Peter reflected, “By his [Jesus’] wounds we were healed” (1 Peter 2:24).

Other symbols of the Sacrament

Parable of the Lost Sheep. "What man among you having a hundred sheep and losing one of them would not leave the ninety-nine in the desert and go after the lost one until he finds it? And when he does find it, he sets it on his shoulders with great joy and, upon his arrival home, he calls together his friends and neighbors and says to them, 'Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.' I tell you, in just the same way there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need of repentance.” (Luke 15: 4-7)

The shepherd was not confident that he would find the lost sheep. But having found it, the lost sheep was then eternally secure. There was no effort on the part of the sheep to return to the flock; it was the Shepherd who carried the sheep back home. He did not simply lead the sheep back to the flock or give it directions on how to find the flock; he picked it up and carried it on his shoulders. In returning to the flock, these lost ones had not taken a single step of themselves. It seems they made no effort at all in repenting, yet they did repent. In repenting, the shepherd did all the work in them to bring them back and ensure their safety.

Rose. The rose is a symbol for many things in Christianity (Mary, Mystery, Paradise, martyrdom), the seal of the Confessional among them. The ancient Romans believed that Cupid, the Roman god of love, gave a rose to Harpocrates as a bribe for not letting on what his mother Venus, the goddess of love, was up to. Hence, the rose became a symbol of confidentiality. This symbolism carried over into Christianty, and the doors of Confessionals are sometimes decorated with the rose. From these Roman and Christian associations comes the phrase "sub rosa" or “under the rose," meaning secretly or confidentially.

Parable of the Lost Son. ‘…Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ "But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe, and put it on him. Put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. Bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat, and celebrate; for this, my son, was dead, and is alive again. He was lost, and is found.’ They began to celebrate. … ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. But it was appropriate to celebrate and be glad, for this, your brother, was dead, and is alive again. He was lost, and is found.’ (Luke 15: 11-32)

This again speaks of God's merciful and compassionate reaction to the repentant sinner. What is unique about the Parable of the Lost Son is that it focuses more on the process of repentance. Unlike the Parable of the Lost Sheep, the father in this parable does not look for the son, but relies on God, who is working behind the scenes. The lost son was truly lost, being dead in his sins. When the son asked his father for his portion of the inheritance, he was stating that his father was already dead. He was not behaving in the spirit of his father.

The same is for us who sin against God. Within the Christian community, there are those who may call themselves sons of God, but if they do not behave as sons of God, they are sons only in a nominal sense. The second son also does not behave according to the spirit of his father in welcoming his brother home. He harbors bitterness and hatred toward him. "Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother;" and "Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him." (1John 3:15) The younger son did not love his father by implying his father was dead and the second son did not love his brother.

How to Examine Your Conscience with the Beatitudes

2008-10-06T07:02:00.013-04:00

In failing to confess, Lord, I would only
hide you from myself, not myself from you.
~ St. Augustine

A friend of mine wanted to know how to go to Confession, especially examine your conscience. One of the ways I examine my conscience is through the Beatitudes. The information below is taken from several articles and the Catechism of the Catholic Church. I pray this information helps you examine your conscience in preparation for the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation.

There are five steps of making a good examination of conscience:
1) Give thanks to God
2) Ask the Holy Spirit to show you your sins and to help eliminate them from your soul
3) Ask the Holy Spirit for a total account of your soul, from your previous Confession to now
4) Ask pardon from God for your faults
5) Resolve to amend these faults, through God's grace, and never sin again
~ St. Ignatius Loyola

Using the Beatitudes to prepare for Confession
(Matthew 5: 3-12)

The Beatitudes depict the countenance of Jesus Christ and portray His charity. They reveal the goal of human existence, the ultimate end of human acts. (CCC 1717 & 1719)

'Blessed are the Poor in Spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven'
- Do I trust God with all of my heart, preferring Him to everything?
- Do I abandon myself to God's providence, giving Him my anxieties in exchange for His joy?
- Do I choose poverty to be like Jesus, rich in faith and free in the Spirit?
- If I am faithful in the small things, like material possessions, the Lord will entrust me with greater things.

'Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted'
- Do I have real sorrow in my heart for my sins?
- Do I ask for sorrow for my sins?
- Do I wallow in my own problems, or do I seek out and comfort those who are lonely, rejected, or suffering?
- Do I allow the Holy Spirit to convict my of my sins, receiving sorrow which leads to repentance?
- Do I realize that my sins are not just breaking the rules, but breaking Jesus' heart?

'Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth'
- Am I haughty and proud, or humble like Christ?
- If I am gifted in academics, sports, music, or some other talent, do I give God the glory?
- Am I a servant for God?
- Do I seek revenge or turn the other cheek and forgive?

'Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied'
- Do I long for God's will to be done, or do I pursue my own interests apart from Him?
- Am I lukewarm in my faith, being satisfied with mediocrity?
- Do I worry about what what I am to eat, drink, or wear, or do I first seek out God and His holiness, knowing after Him, everything else will be provided?
- Am I either filled by hungering and thirsting for holiness or lose my spiritual apetite and starve myself?

'Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy'
- Am I mindful of how much God has forgiven me, or am I quick to condemn and slow to forgive others the harm they have caused me?
- Am I resentful?
- Am I sympathetic to the needs of others?
- Do I pray and work for the salvation of souls?
- Do I offer our lives up in ransom for others, dying on someone else's cross?
- I am in desperate need of receiving mercy, but mercy is very expensive to give. Therefore, I need an all-merciful Savior and to become a merciful follower of such a Savior.

'Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God'
- Have I not only rejected thoughts of lust, but prayed to have a pure heart and live a life of purity?
- Have I glorified God with my body?
- Do I act like my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit?
- Do I obey the first and most basic Commandment - to Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength?
- Do I understand that my commitment to God must be all or nothing, He will not accept lukewarm.

'Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God'
- Do I not only avoid harming others, but strive to bring peace and reconciliation into the lives of others?
- Jesus showed us the price of peace - His Cross. Am I willing to follow Him, reconciling everything to Him?
- Do I take my eyes off of Jesus on the Cross when things get tough, losing sight of the path of peace?

'Blessed are those who are pursecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven'
- Do I have the courage to do the will of God?
- If mocked for living according to God's laws, do I give in?
- Do I freely choose to live my life for God, exposing myself to persecution?

'Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on My account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in Heaven'
- Do I spread the Faith and refuse to compromise it?
- Do I not only refuse to use the Lord's name in vain, but seek to correct those who do?
- Have I been ashamed of Jesus, or do I challenge my friends who are falling into sin?

While the Ten Commandments mostly tell us what to avoid, the Beatitudes tell us what to become. By examining Our Lord's Sermon on the Mount, we can take a deeper look at the state of our souls before Confession.

Presentation Ministries

Holy Card Meme

2008-09-28T14:47:00.011-04:00

Adoro tagged me with a Holy Card Meme.

The initial premise:
* What picture do you think would be on your Holy Card if you were to be canonized.
* Of what would you be the Patron Saint?

Very thought-provoking questions. I know we are all called to be saints, but to actually think of myself as such seems inconceivable.

First - of what would I be the patron saint?

As I have returned to the Faith, I have grown to love the Sacrament of Penance and Reconciliation. Since then, it seems that God has placed me in areas where people need to hear about this Sacrament as well as why they need to return to the Church. I was also to give a talk on Confession, which fell through, but in doing the research, I discovered so much consolation and joy when I receive this Sacrament.

Also, I feel many of these people are taking 'Pit Stops' or breathers as they go forward in God's plan. These pit stops have led them to others to help them, or maybe, they were led to assist others in their spiritual journey. Being a patron saint of 'pit stops' would be very interesting and fun.

Another gift is my love for children...and my ability to relate and help parents. Being a parent is one of the most difficult vocations. Adding upon that the need to work outside the home, entrusting children to complete strangers. Therefore I would be a patron saint for childcare teachers/workers and people returning to the faith/those in 'Pit Stops' in their Faith.

Second - picture(s) on my Holy Card:

Returning to the Faith

Patron Saint of Pit Stops

This second picture is created by Greg Olsen. It's called Do Not Be Afraid. For being the patron saint of Child Care Workers.

Events of the Come-and-See Week

2008-09-26T07:09:00.011-04:00

After my Come-and-See week with the Sisters, it has been mega-crazy due to getting the budget created for work. I finally have a few minutes to review my week with the Trinitarian Sisters.

The first night I tossed & turned - I had so many emotions going through me at one time that I found it very difficult to relax (and the fact that I went from a wonderful double bed to a single). Fears of relinquishing my freedom were on the forefront of my mind. As a Postulent & Novice, we are not free to move about the Shrine or Convent as we would like...even going to the Chapel needs to be approved. I questioned whether I could surrender my freedom continued to haunt me. This made me question my faith and its strength. I have met so many others with greater faith than mine - can I measure up to them? Can I measure up to God's standards?

Yet, even with these questions and apprehensions,
I can not shake the feeling that I am home.

The second day (Monday, 9/8) we celebrated our Holy Mother's birthday! How awesome to be with the Most Holy Trinity AND our Heavenly Mother! It was an absolutely gorgeous day and as an added bonus, Fr. Michael Woost celebrated Mass!

Monday's duty was cleaning the kitchen - the most difficult part was getting on my knees to wash the shelves. Because of softball injuries in highschool, college, and during summer leagues, my knees have taken the brunt of the work - I played catcher. Earlier this year, I tripped over ice and landed on my right knee...creating further hardships. In any case, I offered up the pain for everyone reading my blog, praying for me, and those in my Jesus Jar.

Tuesday - I was seeing red! A farmer donated 1/2 a bushel of tomatoes! We peeled. We cooked. We cut. We saw lots and lots of red. We made lots of stewed tomatoes and had fresh tomatoes for lunch and dinner all week.

Eucharistic Adoration is also celebrated on Tuesdays. It was so nice to be able to sit in front of Jesus (and the Trinity) and let go. Let go of everything that was weighing on my mind.

By the end of the day, the three of us (Sr. L, Sr. M, and I) were so tired we were giddy! Sr. L. brought up the movie Robin Hood, Men in Tights. That's all it took - the three of us created a new version.... Nuns in Tights.

We're Nuns! Nuns in Tights!
We roam around the convent looking for whites.
We may look like penguins
But watch what you say or else we'll give you the lights!
We're Nuns! Nuns in Tights!

Wednesday -

The more I let go and let God, the more content, even a bit euphoric, I am feeling. The fears about freedom are dissipating and I also found that I am trusting God more...and praying more. I found that I am cherishing the 3:00 hour to pray the Rosary and the LOH, something I could never do at work.

This was also a very difficult day for the Sisters, and Trinitarian Order. One of the Trinitarian Priests was accused of abuse (his Sister is also in the Trinitarian order); two Sisters (outside the U.S.) had major health issues - one had a major stroke & is in a coma, the other has terminal cancer and not expected to live much longer; three Sisters (inside the U.S.) had deaths in the family - one's mother passed away, one's Uncle passed away, and the other's nephew (1 year old) passed away. So many heartaches - so many prayers needed.

Thursday -

The question of whether to join the Convent or stay and help my parents was weighing on my mind. I prayed for guidance on what God's plan was for me...where am I supposed to go?

It's also the 7th anniversary of the World Trade Center bombings. The memories of seeing the planes crash into the 2nd tower and United Flight 93 ("Let's Roll") still haunt us. Watching the news on TV that morning, finding that a plane hit Tower 1 then watching as the second plane hits Tower 2 - seemed so illusory.

That evening we took a road trip to Stowe, OH - antique car show! How awesome! It brought back memories of my dad's cars: 1960 Volvo and 1964 Plymoth Belvedere (push button automatic transmission). It was a lot of fun - but one problem - if I was a car, I'd be an antique!!! LOL

Friday
The Most Holy Name of Mary
Another Feast Day for Mary! How awesome!

The Priest (a Franciscan) celebrated Mass this morning and talked about the different names and titles for Mary. How wonderful it has been this week, not only to share my experience with the Most Holy Trinity, but also with Mary, the Mother of God. Many tribulations this week, but many opportunities to TRUST God!

Questions about why God chose this week boggled my mind - but then again, it is just more proof that Mary has been guiding me all my life, by my side the entire time.

Saturday
Feast of St. John Chrysostom (Golden mouth): He is called 'Golden Mouth' because of his eloquence in speech.

Cleaning of the washroom. Afterwards, we were able to go outside for awhile and enjoy the sunshine. I finished reading my book, Swear to God, by Scott Hahn.

After much prayer, I handed in my request to enter the Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity. I feel that this is where God wants me.

Sign of the Cross

2008-09-24T14:19:00.007-04:00

Thank you all for your comments regarding making the Sign of the Cross in front of others.

Actually - what got me was the fact that I KNEW what I was doing - and yet I was afraid to make the Sign of the Cross in front of people. This is a mark of my faith - and yet - WHY was I afraid to show my faith?

When I really thought about it - I was denying my faith at that moment. That was the sin.

What's really been interesting are the comments from people - some were VERY glad I immediately went to Confession and only wanted to receive the Eucharist with a clean heart & soul (and conscience). Others did not see it as a sin at all...but that I was being too hard on myself.

I will be the first one to admit - yes, I am VERY hard on myself. But in these times, I have to be. There is part of me, which I am not able to clearly explain, that needs me to stay on the straight and narrow, and ensure that my soul is clean - to use the Sacrament of Confession and the Eucharist (as well as Spiritual Communions) as much as possible. We all see that the Spiritual Warfare is on heightened levels.

Again, I can not explain this - but I have had many people (who have never met me before) tell me that I am here to do something great. WHAT this "great" means, I have no idea - but my reliance on the Eucharist & Confession is great. I am greatly drawn to these two Sacraments. It sounds crazy - I know. Which is why I keep praying to God to get me ready for what I am supposed to do - His Will that I am to fulfill. And when the time comes where I am completing His will, give me the courage, tenacity, fortitude, and strength.

Which goes back to why I was afraid to make the Sign of the Cross in front of people. If this was one of God's tests for me to show my faith in front of others - I failed. So, I confess my failure, forget it, and move on....learning from the failure and facing it head-on.

Has this incident changed me? Absolutely! Yes, I am still hesitant on making the Sign of the Cross in front of others - even at restaurants. However, I face it head-on, tell Satan to go to the foot of the Cross and boldly proclaim my faith by making the Sign of the Cross. There are times when my hand is shaking, there are times when my head is bowed and eyes closed, and there are other times when my head and eyes are forward, back straight, and my faith proclaimed.

Yes, I show my faith in other ways - but for some reason, this was a hurdle that I needed to overcome at this moment. Maybe by showing my faith it will enable someone else to proclaim their's as well.

Photo: Pope Benedict XVI makes the sign of the cross during the weekly general audience at the Vatican last Wednesday. (Plinio Lepri/Associated Press)

Feast Days

2008-09-23T22:51:00.010-04:00

It was mentioned at my come-and-see week that before I officially enter my Novitiate (if I am accepted) I would have to submit 3 Feast Days with Saints and 3 Descriptors to add to the end of my name. Of these, the Vocation Director would decide which Feast Day and Descriptor I would take on with the Habit. The Descriptors are what my devotion is about - for instance, one of the Sisters has 'of the Cross' another, 'of the Most Holy Eucharist', and another 'of the Child Jesus'. (I will post on the descriptors at a future time).

At the Bible Study (Scott Hahn series about the Bible & the Sacraments) this past Sunday, one of the Sisters, who is also taking the course, mentioned that many Catholics are celebrating their Baptismal days rather than their Birthdays since this is the day we become adopted sons & daughters of God...fully adopted into God's family. This peaked my interest - so I decided to look into it.

What I discovered was further proof that Mary has a big role in my life. My Baptismal day is August 29th....there were many obscure Saints listed but one Saint leaped off the page.

Saint Hyperdulia

Saint Hyperdulia: The proper veneration that is reserved for the Blessed Virgin Mary, as the most exalted of all human beings and all creatures.

Second Exodus explains:

'The special veneration due to the Blessed Virgin Mary. Vatican II's Dogmatic Constitution on the Church states: “The various forms of piety towards the Mother of God, which the Church has approved within the limits of sound and orthodox doctrine, according to the dispositions and understanding of the faithful, ensure that while the mother is honored, the Son through whom all things have their being Col 1:15-16 and in whom it has pleased the Father that all fullness should dwell Col 1:19 is rightly known, loved and glorified and his commandments are observed.”'

There are three levels of reverence that we in this life offer. Latria (worship) is reserved for God alone. Hyperdulia is reserved for the Blessed Virgin. Dulia (veneration) is reserved for all the rest of the heavenly host, including the angels and saints.

There are many signs that Mary has been beside me from the beginning...some of which I have already posted. I am unsure what God has in store for me or why Mary has been so intricately woven into my life, but I am not here to know....I am here to serve.

Since my return to the Faith, one of the few prayers that I have for myself is: whatever I am supposed to do here on earth, God will prepare me to carry out His will. Teach me what I need to learn. Help me to remember that which I will need. When the time comes, give me the strength, fortitude, tenacity, and courage to fulfill God's plan...with Mary beside me all the way.

Confession

2008-09-18T08:57:00.002-04:00

I made a huge mistake on Monday night - had to go to confession before I could receive the Eucharist so I didn't go to Mass at all on Tuesday or Wednesday because I couldn't get to confession before Mass (Miss a day, Miss a lot!).

Monday, I got on the train heading back to Green Road, took out my Liturgy of the Hours book and started reading (yes, reading, NOT praying!). I was too embarrassed to do the sign of the cross on the train in front of people! The train was not even crowded! I had a seat all to myself! WHAT was I embarrassed about???? If this was God testing me to see if I would show my faith in public, I miserably failed!

Immediately after I realized what I did (actually didn't do), the scripture about how if we deny God to men on earth, Jesus will deny us before His Heavenly Father. Ouch!

To make matters more poignant, yesterday's evening Reading in the LOH (which I read at Adoration last night) was all about this!

So I went to Confession this morning - This is the one time I was really glad to get 3 Our Fathers for a Penance!

My Request Submitted

2008-09-14T22:21:00.007-04:00

I just returned from my come-and-see week with the
Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity
(in Euclid, OH)

Yesterday (Saturday) I submitted my

official request to join the Order!

Prayers, please!!

Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity

2008-09-05T10:28:00.003-04:00

Information about the Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity

Some history of the Order of the Most Holy Trinity

St. John of Matha was born of noble parents in Province, France. Educated at Aix, then lived as a hermit at Faucon. Doctorate in theology at Paris. Ordained in 1197. At the first Mass he celebrated, he had a vision of an angel, clothed in white with a red and blue cross on his breast. The angel placed his hands on the heads of two slaves, who knelt beside him. Later, when sitting beside a stream with fellow hermit Saint Felix of Valois, the two were given the vision of a white stag between whose antlers was suspended a blue and red cross. With the encouragement of Pope Innocent III, he founded the Hospitaler Order of the Most Holy Trinity and of Captives (Trinitarians; Redemptionists) to ransom Christian prisoners of the Moors (the Mathurins); it received papal approval in 1209. The angel's clothing became the habit of the order, the Scapular of the Most Holy Trinity was instituted, the Order was placed under the protection of Mary under the title of Our Lady of Good Remedy, and John was the first superior general. Hundreds of prisoners were ransomed and returned to their homes.

More about the Trinitarian Order.

Order of the Most Holy Trinity in the United States

Mother Maria Teresa Cucchiari, foundress of the Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity.

"In 1198 John of Matha was inspired to found a community dedicated to the Trinity in order to share the Trinity's love through redemptive charity. On September 8, 1762, Maria Teresa Cucchiari followed her own special call by the Trinity and received the Trinitarian habit and became the foundress of the female branch of the Order of the Most Holy Trinity.Maria Teresa and the first two women to join her carried out the charism of the Order, namely, redemptive charity. They were of service to women and children living in the small towns of the hills of Avezzano, Italy in various ways. This was a truly unique and innovative type of ministry for its time. Over the years this ministry included not only catechesis, but developed into caring for children in orphanages, helping the sick and establishing schools for those who otherwise would not have access to education. Mother Maria Teresa had a great devotion to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. She had complete trust in the providence of God. When she found herself in difficulty her motto became, "I trust in God and I am confident."

Our Lady of Good Remedy

800 years ago Christians were being captured and sold into slavery by the thousands, and nobody knew what to do about it. Then, in the year 1198, a man had an idea. St. John of Matha founded the Trinitarians to go to the slave markets, buy the Christian slaves and set them free. To carry out this plan, the Trinitarians needed large amounts of money. So, they placed their fund-raising efforts under the patronage of Mary. They were so successful at that, over the centuries, the Trinitarians were able to free thousands and thousands of people and to return them safely home. In gratitude for her miraculous assistance, St. John of Matha honored Mary with the title of "Our Lady of Good Remedy." Devotion to Mary under this ancient title is widely known in Europe and Latin America, and the Church celebrates her feast day on October 8. Our Lady of Good Remedy is often depicted as the Virgin Mary handing a bag of money to St. John of Matha.

Habit: The habit of the Sisters is of white wool bearing the emblem of a blue and red cross, signifying the purity of the Father, the sufferings of the Son, and the charity of the Holy Ghost.

The Family Tree

2008-09-04T07:10:00.004-04:00

There have been many sins that have affected my family, immediate and extended, which have then directly affected me. Sins resulting in my present and past sufferings ... things that have taken years to overcome, yet still being taunted and tormented by their effects.

Passed down from generation to generation, these sins influence our very being, our souls, so that it has ramifications upon everything we do. This burden slowly wearing us down until we find it so difficult to move, to live, to love, while desperately trying to cling onto the Word of God to keeps us going. We find ourselves drowning in the everyday battles. We know He is there, we know He is beside us, but the suffering is so great that we feel like we are losing the war.

Can we ever be completely healed by the influences and effects these sins create? Can we be free from this bondage, this burden placed so heavily upon us? Can we feel His love again? Yes! Through the Sacraments. Through prayer. Through fasting. Through Jesus. He died so we could have everlasting life ... free from the bondage of sin, including the sins of the past, present, and future.

I pray this prayer in hopes of being completely healed, as well as healing for my family, one day.

Prayer for Healing the Family Tree

Heavenly Father, I come before You as Your child, in great need of Your help. I have physical health needs, emotional needs, spiritual needs, and interpersonal needs. Many of my problems have been caused by my own failures, neglect and sinfulness, for which I humbly beg Your forgiveness, Lord. But I also ask You to forgive the sins of my ancestors whose failures have left their effects on me in the form of unwanted tendencies, behavior patterns and defects in body, mind and spirit. Heal me, Lord, of all these disorders.

With Your help I sincerely forgive everyone, especially living or dead members of my family tree, who have directly offended me or my loved ones in any way, or those whose sins have resulted in our present sufferings and disorders. In the name of Your divine Son Jesus, and in the power of His Holy Spirit, I ask You, Father, to deliver me and my entire family tree from the influence of the evil one. Free all living and dead members of my family tree, including those in adoptive relationships, and those in extended family relationships, from every contaminating form of bondage. By Your loving concern for us, heavenly Father, and by the shed blood of your Precious Son Jesus, I beg You to extend Your blessing to me and all my living and deceased relatives. Heal every negative effect transmitted through all past generations, and prevent such negative effects in future generations of my family tree.

I symbolically place the Cross of Jesus over the head of each person in my family tree, and between each generation; I ask You to let the cleansing blood of Jesus purify the blood lines in my family lineage. Set Your protective angels to encamp around us, and permit Archangel Raphael, the patron of healing, to administer Your divine healing power to all of us, even in areas of genetic disability. Give special power to our family members' guardian angels to heal, protect, guide and encourage each of us in all our needs. Let Your healing power be released at this very moment and let it continue as long as Your sovereignty permits.

In our family tree, Lord, replace all bondage with a holy bonding in family love. And let there be an ever deeper bonding with You, Lord, by the Holy Spirit, to Your Son Jesus. Let the family of the Holy Trinity pervade our family with its tender, warm, loving presence, so that our family may recognize and manifest that love in all our relationships. All of our unknown needs we include with this petition that we pray in Jesus precious Name.

Amen.

Confession Joke

2008-09-02T14:39:00.003-04:00

A little second grader, J, was being prepared for his First Confession in the 'olden days' when everyone entered a Confessional and spoke through a screen.

J was very frightened to go into the Confessional, so he asked his classmate, F, to go first and tell him about it. Obligingly, F entered the Confessional, made his First Confession, and rushed out to reassure J.

'Don't worry, J, they have him in there in a cage!'

...You Will Find Rest For Your Souls...

2008-09-02T07:02:00.009-04:00

Confession – what is it really meant to be?

We’ve all been there at one time or another—going to Confession with a guilty conscience, sweaty palms, anxious about what Fr. So-and-so is going to think when I tell him about _____. We go in feeling burdened, hesitant, or embarrassed—but we should not leave this way.

It is never comfortable to look back on our own failings, to own up to them and to confess them, but Jesus sees so much more than our failures and sins. That is why He invites us to come to Him.

Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Shoulder my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Yes, my yoke is easy and my burden, light. (Matthew 11: 28-30)

The Sacrament of Penance, also known as Confession, was instituted by Christ to heal us and to renew Christ in our hearts. We not only receive forgiveness for the offenses we committed against God after Baptism, but we are also reconciled with the Church, who is wounded by our sins.

God wants an intimate relationship with us. When we sin, we separate ourselves from God; we sever that relationship. On our own, we cannot repair this rift caused by our sins. The only way our relationship with God can be repaired is by standing at the foot of the Cross, asking for God’s forgiveness and mercy. God gives us Himself through grace to heal and sanctify us so we can be like Him and live with Him, intimately, in Heaven.

When Jesus needed Peter the most, Peter denied Him three times. This sin was a huge burden on Peter’s conscience. His guilt over his failure was eating away at the core of his being and Jesus knew this. Jesus had to show Peter that He forgave him. He removed Peter’s guilt and gave him a vision, a sense of purpose, a mission. Through this forgiveness, Peter was no longer bound by the guilt of his past failures, but now was filled with hope for the future.

Peter said to him, "Master, why can't I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you." Jesus answered, "Will you lay down your life for me? Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow before you deny me three times." (John 13:37-38)

Simon Peter and another disciple followed Jesus. Now the other disciple was known to the high priest, and he entered the courtyard of the high priest with Jesus. But Peter stood at the gate outside. So the other disciple, the acquaintance of the high priest, went out and spoke to the gatekeeper and brought Peter in. (John 18:15-16)

Then the maid who was the gatekeeper said to Peter, "You are not one of this man's disciples, are you?" He said, "I am not." (John 18:17)

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love (agape) me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love (filio) you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs." (John 21:15)

Now Simon Peter was standing there keeping warm. And they said to him, "You are not one of his disciples, are you?" He denied it and said, "I am not." (John 18:25)

He then said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love (agape) me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love (filio) you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep." (John 21:16)

One of the slaves of the high priest, a relative of the one whose ear Peter had cut off, said, "Didn't I see you in the garden with him?" Again Peter denied it. And immediately the cock crowed. (John 18:26-27)

He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love (filio) me?" Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love (filio) you." (Jesus) said to him, "Feed my sheep.” (John 21:17)

This is what God wants from us every time we go to Confession. He wants to see us transformed, to overcome sin and the temptation of sin, to overcome the flesh of this world for the spiritual of the next. We need to trust in God’s forgiveness and mercy with the hope of having our lives transformed through His grace. Jesus understood that Peter was unable to love Him enough to die for Him. However, Jesus reassured Peter that He would lead Peter to an agape-kind of love.

When a Catholic comes from Confession, he does truly, by definition, step out into that dawn of his own beginning…in that brief ritual God has really remade him in His own image. He may be grey and gouty, but he is only five minutes old. ~ G.K. Chesterton

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that we must appreciate this gift that God has given us through the Sacrament of Confession, a Sacrament of Christian Initiation. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves. It has been said that we sin so many times a day, but our sins are washed away through Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross. (1425). The conversion in Confession is within our hearts, not to be seen as an outward sign, but an inward one, one of Christ. This conversion is a repentance of ourselves, a turning away from sin, and repugnance toward evil. At the same time, God asks us to change our lives, to trust in Him, His grace, and His mercy. Sin causes our hearts to be heavy and burdened. God must give us a new heart, must give us strength to begin again and to trust that His love will always keep us turned away from sin. (1430-1432).

The Sacrament of Penance is meant to be a celebration where all of Heaven rejoices whenever a sinner repents. Confession gives us a greater hope of being united more deeply with Jesus, to be an adopted son/daughter within God’s family. This change in our hearts through this Sacrament helps us to change our lives, in harmony with God’s.

The Sacrament of Penance must be one of the most exhausting, demanding, and difficult ministries of a Priest, yet one of the most rewarding. It requires prudence, discretion, discernment, and firmness, tempered with gentleness and kindness. Pope John Paul II likened the Sacrament of Reconciliation to going to the doctor. If a patient is too fearful of what the doctor would say to show his wounds, the doctor cannot heal what is not known. Christ is the physician of our souls. We need to bring everything to Christ in the Sacrament of Reconciliation…everything. The Priest, acting in persona Christi, is the minister of Penance who makes Christ present for us through the Holy Spirit. Christ is still the High Priest, behind the Priest. When we go to Confession, we are not going to the Priest (the human), we are going straight to Christ, who is present to us through the Holy Spirit in the Priest. It is Jesus who is listening as we pour out our hearts; it is Jesus who is absolving us from our sins. Like the doctor, we need to bring everything to Jesus in the Confessional so He can heal our wounded hearts and souls.

We should not be discouraged if we do not see progress. Frequent Confession helps us to be free from the bondage of sin, as well as, consistent in our struggle against sin. Nor should we be disappointed if we do not feel/see immediate effects of a particular Confession. When our sins are forgiven, they are completely forgiven…and forgotten. You do not need to feel like you are walking on clouds when you leave the Confessional – trust in God’s mercy and forgiveness. Be assured that you now are a new creation in Christ…you now have a clean slate.

(Confessional picture used with permission from www.vassaloftheking.blogspot.com)

Confession - Prologue

2008-09-02T06:55:00.002-04:00

When I was in a Christian charismatic group, the household heads asked if I would do a talk on Confession. I was ecstatic! This is one of the Sacraments that I have come to love in our Church. The healing, the vulnerability before our Lord is such a great blessing!

Since that time, I left the group, reasons not important. Many friends have asked if I would still talk about what I learned - I decided to write about it. I have only read those articles approved by the Church, including Pope John Paul II's Apostolic Exortation Reconciliation and Penance; Lord, Have Mercy, by Scott Hahn; Misericordia Dei, Apostolic Letter in the form of Motu Proprio by Pope John Paul II; Catechism of the Catholic Church; and many of the Apostolic Letters, homilies, and articles found on Zenit.com from Pope John Paul II, Pope Benedict XVI, and others leading our Church. I also conferred with several Priests in the Cleveland Diocese for further clarification and have asked the Parochial Vicar at my parish to read and comment on the writings before I post them.

This is my research and is in no way an exhaustive description of the Sacrament.

********************************
Outline:
What is Confession (Principle aspects of the Sacrament)

What's in a name? Confession? Penance? Reconciliation?

Signs & Symbols

Sin
What is a sin?
Types of sin
Loss of the sense of sin
Scruples

Why confess sins?

Forgiveness of sins
Cain, Abel, and Original Sin
The Prodigal Son
Judas - was he forgiven?
Divine Mercy & the Sacred Heart of Jesus

Pastoral Ministry of Penance & Reconciliation
Forms of Celebration of Confession
What is Bound on Earth shall be Bound in Heaven
Why confess to a Priest?
Priestly Involvement

Fundamental Convictions of the Sacrament

Sacraments & Confession

How to Make a Good Confession
10 Commandments
Beatitudes
Steps of going to Confession
Act of Contrition

"What to do when..." (What to do in certain situations)

**********************************************

I hope you learn to enjoy this Sacrament as much as I have...if not more!

Meme

2008-08-23T20:32:00.004-04:00

I was tagged a Meme by a friend of mine ... my first one since I opened my blog.

Use the 3rd letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real places, names, things, nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same initial.

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?.....................................Lillian Marie
4 LETTER Word:..................................................Love
VEHICLE:..............................................................Llama (did not say motorized vehicle)
TV SHOW:.............................................................Land of the Lost
CITY:.......................................................................Louisville, KY
SAINT'S NAME (BOY):........................................Luke
SAINT'S NAME (GIRL).........................................Lucy
OCCUPATION:.....................................................Landscape Architect
SOMETHING YOU WEAR:..................................Locket
SOMETHING FOUND IN A CHURCH................Liturgical Music
FOOD:....................................................................Limburger Cheese
SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM...........Lipstick
REASON FOR BEING LATE:.............................Lost
SOMETHING YOU SHOUT:................................Let me at 'em!
SPORT:..................................................................Lacrosse
CURRENCY:.........................................................Lira
ANIMAL:................................................................Lady bug
WORD TO DESCRIBE YOU:..............................Laughing
SOMETHING AT THE LAST SUPPER:.............Lord
CHRISTMAS CAROL:..........................................Little Drummer Boy
PART OF A SNOWMAN:....................................Lincoln-style top hat
HYMN:....................................................................Litany of Saints

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

2008-08-22T15:54:00.008-04:00

In India, a Sister of the Congregation of Jesus walked into the meditation room in the Universal Solidarity Movement (USM).

"I looked all around for the tabernacle in the dim light," the Congregation of Jesus nun admitted to UCA News, "but all I could see was a small ceiling fan, a tube light and a gigantic mirror on a wall." The sari-clad nun, 32, began wondering why the room did not even have a crucifix, but then her eye caught a black, wooden sign above the two-square-meter mirror. Written on it were the English words "God within" and a phrase in Sanskrit, "Aham brahmasmi (I am God)."

Here's the full article.

I hope I am not the only one seeing a problem with this! It's a slap in the face to what we believe - the Most Holy Eucharist, Jesus holy sacrifice for us. If 'I am God' why would I need Jesus? This reeks of New Age and Future Church!

In John 6:53 Jesus said: "Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood you will not have life in you." The Most Holy Eucharist, this divine presence, deserves our worship. Someone who believes in it should be much inclined to come before the tabernacle often. Benediction, Perpetual Adoration, and 40-Hours Devotion should be promoted everywhere!

The Catholic Church has defined the dogma of the Real Presence by stating that Jesus Christ is present, whole and entire, under the appearances of bread and wine following the words of Consecration at the Eucharist. Exposition and benediction of the Blessed Sacrament is not only a very old devotion in the Church, but it also highlights the fundamental mystery of the Most Holy Eucharist that our Lord is truly present, body and blood, soul and divinity, in the Blessed Sacrament. It is the same in every Tabernacle of every Catholic Church within the world. We have a unique privelege to be able to visit and be with Jesus, his physical presence, at any time! How awesome is that?

From: The Catholic Church is the Mystical Body of Christ
by Fr. William G. Most

Speaking of full membership in the Church, Pius XII, in his Encyclical on the Mystical Body, said it is the society of those who have been baptized, and who profess the faith of Christ, and who are governed by their bishops under the visible head, the Pope, the Bishop of Rome.

The Church came into being when Christ died on the Cross, but it was formally inaugurated on Pentecost, when He sent the Holy Spirit as He had promised. St. Paul speaks of all Christians as members of Christ, so that with Him, they form one Mystical Body (Cf. 1 Cor 12:12-31; Col 1:18; 2:18-20; Eph. 1:22-23; 3:19; 4:13). St. Paul did not use the word Mystical. It was developed more recently to bring out the fact that this union is unique, there is no parallel to it. It is not the same as the union of a physical body, nor that of a business corporation.

The Church, the Mystical Body, exists on this earth, and is called the Church militant, because its members struggle against the world, the flesh and the devil. The Church suffering means the souls in Purgatory. The Church triumphant is the Church in heaven. The unity and cooperation of the members of the Church on earth, in Purgatory, in Heaven is also called the Communion of Saints. When St. Paul uses the word "Saints" in opening an Epistle, he does not mean they are morally perfect. He has in mind Hebrew qadosh, which means set aside for God, or coming under the covenant. Being such means of course they are called to moral perfection. But of course, not all have reached it in this world.

The word "Saint" in the modern sense means someone who has been canonized by the Church in recent times, or was accepted as such by the Church in earlier times. If a person is shown to have practiced heroic virtue--beyond what people in general do - in all virtues, the title "Venerable" is given; with two miracles by that one's intercession, the title is "Blessed"; two more miracles can lead to canonization and the title of Saint.

Taken from The Basic Catholic CatechismPART FIVE: The Apostles' Creed IX-XIINinth Article: "The Holy Catholic Church; the Communion of Saints"
By William G. Most. (c) Copyright 1990 by William G. Most

The Catholic Church is called the Mystical Body of Christ because we are all united by mystical bonds with one another and with Christ, our Head. This does not mean that we are God. We are all adopted sons and daughters of God...but we are NOT God. God lives in us because of our faith, through the Most Holy Eucharist. We invite Him into our hearts and souls. Jesus knocks at the door to our hearts, but we have to first open the door to let Him enter.

We are constantly striving to be holy because God asks us to be holy, like He is holy. This does not mean that we ARE holy - far from it!

"Never forget this truth: the Eternal Father is pleased with us only in so far as we imitate His Son and inasmuch as He sees in us the likeness of His Son, for it is in His image that He has predestined us from all eternity. For us there is no other form of sanctity than that which Christ has shown us. The degree of our perfection is measured by the degree of our imitation of Jesus and of our union with Him." ~Dom Columba Marmion, O.S.B.Abbot of Maredsous

This union is with Jesus on the Cross and in the Tabernacle - not in a mirror.

Speak, Lord...

2008-08-20T07:10:00.004-04:00

Growing up in a very faith-filled home can be absolutely wonderful, but can also be intimidating. Not so much for the faith - that was the wonderful part. It was beyond the faith that was trepidacious.

My parents taught us how to live God-filled lives. They taught us to love the Lord, our God, to spread that love to others and how to listen to God's voice. The latter of which, I have the most difficulty. It's not so much having the desire to listen, it is more slowing myself down (and my mind down) in order to listen. My mind wanders continuously so trying to remove all thoughts during Adoration or Mass can be quite the challenge.

It was not uncommon to see my parents pray. In fact, they usually prayed about everything ... everything that mattered. They tried not to fret over the little things that attempted to block their view of God's path. It was wonderful to see them praying ... to observe their faith. It was when they instantaneously invited us to join them, and 'no' was not heard - we were included anyway, that became a bit embarrassing. It wasn't that we were praying, it was we were praying as a group. With my prayer, I am more introspective, more private. These are my personal prayers to God. My parents, however, firmly believe that when two or three or more are gathered in His name, the prayer will be answered. Maybe not in the way expected...but yet answered.

It was when we were living in the south that I was introduced to the gift of Tongues. For a girl who was already shy about praying aloud, it was disquieting to be around people who had this gift...especially when they used it! My parents usually used the gift when they needed to step back, out of themselves, during prayer, and ususally during their private prayer time. They needed to focus on God's view rather than the world's view.

When we moved to Ohio, maybe three years after we moved, they joined a charismatic prayer group. Every once in awhile the group would meet at our house and all of the kids would hide. But it was in those brief moments when we HAD to run downstairs that we heard the group speaking in Tongues. It was intriguing, yet intimidating. For a brief second I was straining to hear each of the different words ... then my fear got the better of me and I headed back upstairs to the safety of my own room - where I knew and understood the language spoken.

A little over a year ago, I joined a charismatic prayer group. They had a beginning series to introduce us newcomers to the Holy Spirit and the Most Holy Trinity, although the Holy Spirit and Jesus were the usual topics of discussion. I remember being prayed over to receive any gifts of the Holy Spirit that God wanted to bestow upon me. I also remember telling God, 'anything but the Gift of Tongues!' What a way to halt any endowment of God.

It was after I left the group earlier this year that I actually started opening more to God's word and trying to listen to what He was trying, ever so patiently, to tell me. It was then that I was opening more to God.

Little by little, phrases would come into my thoughts. Actually, they were more like utterances since I did not understand what they were, the language, or if it, in fact, was a language. I continued to pray about it, discern, and accept what I was slowly being revealed. About a month ago, my mom and I went to Adoration. The utterances became stronger. I knew I heard a few of the words before, so I asked my mom to speak in Tongues. The Lord was revealing to me His special gift ... a gift only given to me ... the gift of His Tongue!

I'm not a person who seeks a religious ecstatic experience, you know the kind, the 'allelujia, praise God! Be healed and be saved!' type person. Actually, even the enthusiastic ministers seen on TV send a chill up my spine. I am more reserved, more conservative with prayer. I use this gift during my personal prayer time when I am praying about a specific person or specific situation...not unsimilar to my parents. I ask for God's will to be done, not mine, and use the gift to praise God and His holy Name.

I have also found that I use this gift during Mass - during the epiclesis and consecration. Since the Gift of Tongues is actually a language used to praise God, I want to praise Him during the most sacred time during Holy Mass, the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. What I found is that this gift has truly been a blessing. I have used it when I pray with friends, usually those who also have the Gift of Tongues. In my Church, we do not use the sanctus bells, so I pray with the Gift of Tongues, quietly, during the epiclesis and consecration...creating a joyful noise to the Lord.

Little did I understand what a blessing this Gift of God would become. Little did I understand the power of God and that He wants what is best for me. Little did I understand I do not know what is best for me in God's eyes. I need to remember Samuel's words..."Speak, Lord, your servant is listening," and then truly listen...

Thank goodness for family!

2008-08-16T18:41:00.013-04:00

There are few things that I splurge on myself. One is good tennis shoes. They must have a high arch, leather, and be made by a reputable company. Levi Jeans - 550 - the others just are not as compfortable nor last as long. Another is Caribou Coffee's double mocha turtle latte. And lastly, although somewhat embarrassing, is VS underwear. It's the comfort - it's all about the comfort! Of course, I don't buy the plain colors - I have to get the funky designs and neon/bright colors.

When I made my decision to join a Convent, and then God led me to Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity, I started laughing because their habits are all white. Somehow, the leopard print or 'Love' showing through the habit does not seem most holy nor the impression I really want to make.

However, my sister, being the wonderful instigator that I taught her to be (being the oldest, I had to teach my wisdom to my younger brothers and sister. I taught her well.) She said all I needed was to add "I [heart] God" to the backside. We laughed, then I dismissed the thought.

Little did I realize, she was serious! For my birthday, not only did she buy me some of my favorite undies, she also ADDED the spiritual saying, with puffy paint, no less!

Family! What to do with them?? LOL At least I know I'll have about 2 years to proudly wear them!

LOL

Movin' On Up, to the East Side...

2008-08-16T08:45:00.004-04:00

The news is finally out!

Wednesday, my department had a surprise breakfast for my birthday. On Thursday, my actual birthday, I had an important meeting scheduled in the afternoon so I blocked out the entire day, which they thought I was not going to be in the office.

The table was decked out with a birthday tablecloth, balloons, and lots of food (muffins, donut holes, bagels, juice, cupcakes). What a great surprise! And yes, cubicle volleyball was played during the day. Unfortunately, I forgot to buy gold coins (chocolates) so we could have an 'olympic cubcile volleyball game.'

So as we were all sitting there, all 10 of us, I had the nudge from the Holy Spirit to tell my story. I had talked with my director on Monday that after my come-and-see week in September, I would tell the rest of the department. The Holy Spirit said now.

An amazing thing happened! They were ALL very supportive! I could not have asked for a better reaction from my colleagues...what a blessing! Although one of the staff nudged another and said, 'I think this means we have to be NICE to her.' lol

So now, I'm waiting to see how fast the news gets through the rest of the company. I'm sure the rumor mill will be in full swing...but so far I have heard nothing. Somewhat thankful, yet somewhat fearful....fearful for what MAY be coming. Then again, it's in God's hands.

What's in a Name?

2008-08-14T05:00:00.012-04:00

Lillian Marie. My two middle names. My given middle name is Marie, a form of Mary. It is the name of my Grandmother, who was born on the Feast of the Assumption, and Mary, our Heavenly Mother, both of whom I am named after. (I was born on the Eve of the Feast of the Assumption).

Lillian. Well, there's a story behind that name.
(For those of you who know me...of course there's a story! LOL)

I went to public school through most of my elementary/middle school years. I attended CCD (now known as PSR) and Confirmation in our Diocese was celebrated in 8th grade, so we were not studying the Sacrament yet. I made it through a little over half of 7th grade when my family moved to another state. There, I attended a Catholic School. However, Confirmation was celebrated in 11th grade. Great!...I expected to stay in this state & school system through my 12th grade.

Uhm...big problem. We moved again after I finished 9th grade. We finally landed in Ohio, where I finished my high school years. However, here, Confirmation was received in 6th grade...and I was in 10th! Yikes!

Since we attended Catholic Schools, the actual Confirmation instruction was given in the 6th grade religion class. So, little instruction, with the exception of one brief overview session, was given to my brother and I, both of whom were above 6th grade. All I remember was people asking me if I picked a name and who my sponsor was. It seemed every week, 'Did you pick a name yet?' 'Which name did you pick?' 'Who is your sponsor?' 'Have you decided on a name?'

Okay, I should have asked some questions, but I didn't.
(I was a teenager...I thought I knew it all - hah! was I wrong!)
Dad, I think mom just fainted....I admitted I was wrong.

Name, name...which name? I went through old school pictures, looking at kids that I liked back then (maybe not the best choice). I tried to remember friends that I had when I was younger and their names...nothing seemed right. Then I went through names of relatives... somehow I just couldn't see picking the name Gertrude, my grandmother's name. We always used to call her Dirty Gerty and it just didn't have the same effect, especially for a Sacrament. Ethyl May?...nope! Dolly?...I think not. It never occurred to me to look up a Saint's name! (Doh!)

I could not come up with any names that I liked. So I went to the best source I could think of (remember, I was a teenager)...Harlequin Romances!

Yep! Found the name...Fleur! Loved it! (I also like the character, which helped solidify my decision) - okay, again, maybe not the best way to pick a name for Confirmation...but hey, I had a name (waiting for the jolt of lightning to come down from the sky - any minute now).

Now for my sponsor. My grandmother, Mary!
Our birthdays were just one day apart...and, after all, I was named after her.

Well, there you have it....Name: Fleur. Sponsor: my grandmother.

Although, I must confess, I did receive some strange looks when I told people my chosen name. But hey, it was French, what did they know? And...I thought I was cool picking a French name...and only I knew where I got the name (well, until now, that is).

Confirmation: God certainly has a way of revealing HIS plan!

I had proudly handed in my name, on an index card no less, a week before we were to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation.

The day of the Ceremony, the Mass began and I was proud as a peacock...until I looked around at the rest of the class and they were all 2 feet shorter than I was (uhm...feeling just a bit out of place). This sea of 6th graders, then there was me and my brother ... we stuck out like sore thumbs! But then I saw my boyfriend, D., and everything was okay. He came! I was elated!

We slowly filed down the aisle toward The Bishop. Yes, THE Bishop of our Diocese...he actually made it down to our little hick-town, cow-country...lots of corn...and the 'fresh country air'. I remember being impressed that OUR Bishop was there.

As the boy in front of me walked up to the Bishop to receive the Sacrament, the lady beside me was trying desperately to pronounce the name I had written on the card. Fleer? No Fleur. Flur? No, Fleur! Flir? Exasperated, I blurted out 'Lillian!' and probably a bit too loud. (I thought I heard a thud in the back of the Church ... it was the jaws of my family dropping on the floor!)

She announced to the Bishop, 'I present to you Lillian'.

I have NO CLUE where that name came from...it just popped into my head. I did not know of ANY Lillian's...nor do I remember having any friends or reading of any Lillians. But there it was...my Confirmation name...Lillian.

Okay, NOW I have a clue. The Holy Spirit and Mary definitely took care of the heinous mistake I was about to make by having my Confirmation name from a Harlequin Romance book. (My family is still scratching their heads on that one!)

And there you have it... Lillian Marie. (maybe this is why God has not granted me any children!) lol

How Great Thou Art!

2008-08-02T05:00:00.003-04:00

How great Thou art!

Day of Reparation

2008-08-01T05:00:00.005-04:00

The Confraternity of Catholic Clergy is proposing today (Friday, August 1) as a national day of prayer and fasting in the wake of the desecration of the Eucharist by a Minnesota professor.

Were you there when they crucified my Lord?

Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet

Day of Prayer, Fasting, & Reparation - Friday, August 1st

2008-07-31T09:03:00.002-04:00

I am sure you all have heard about the desecration of the Eucharist by a college professor. The Confraternity of Catholic Clergy is requesting that Friday, August 1st, be a day of prayer, fasting, and reparation so that this never occurs again. Here's the story...

It's what Jesus does!

2008-07-30T22:31:00.006-04:00

One of my favorite parables is about the lost sheep. How God loves us so much that He rejoices in that one lost soul that returns to Him. I have been that lost soul who returned to God, not fully realizing how limitless His love and mercy was...until this morning.

After returning to the faith, I slowly began to rebuild my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I started visiting Adoration and soon found myself returning every week, then signing up for a Holy Hour. My first time in the Confessional was full of anxiety going in...but coming out I was walking on clouds amidst God's mercy. I yearned to be close to God...yearned for His endless love and dreamed of the day that I would lay my head on Jesus' chest, like St. John the Evangelist, listening to His heart beating, fully knowing that it was the heart beat of God. Confession and the Mass became my weekly renewal with our Lord. I would attend daily Mass at the Cathedral and once a week, maybe every other week, I would go to Confession. The graces I received were so fruitful that when I looked back, I couldn't believe how much I had grown in my faith. One of the Priests at the Cathedral remarked one day that I was trying so hard he didn't know how I wasn't exhausted. It was God - not me - He was the one changing me into the person He wanted me to become.

However, in the past month and a half, my relationship with God has been strained. I longed to feel His embrace after Confession...but no matter how hard I tried to examine my conscience, nothing came. I prayed to the Holy Spirit to enlighten me, to show me my sins...nothing. I listened to tapes by Fr. Larry Richards and Vinny Flynn....nothing. My heart ached to feel God's presence again but all I felt was a black abyss... nothingness. I was teary-eyed during the Mass, especially during the Confiteor and the prayer before Communion...'Lord, I am not worthy to receive You, but only say the Word and I shall be healed.' I wasn't worthy...yet I knew God in His intimacy would heal me before I received Him.

This morning I was made anew. I felt and understood God's mercy in a whole new way. I arrived at the Cathedral early, thinking I could pray before Mass. But as I walked into my usual pew, I noticed that the door to the Confessional was open and no one was in line. Without thinking, I walked over, expecting Fr. E. to be there (his usual morning to celebrate Mass). God sent me Fr. J.

I walked in, closed the door, and explained how I used to go to Confession every week. I rejoiced in receiving God's graces through the Sacraments of Confession and the Holy Eucharist. I explained how I yearned and ached to feel God's love, His presence. Fr. J. and I talked, he suggested reading Romans 8 (the entire chapter). Then he suggested absolving me from my sins.

I rebuttled that I couldn't....I have not prepared...I tried but could not prepare. I could not accuse myself of my sins, I had not done a full examination of conscience. But Fr. J. gently explained that I have been trying, I have been at Mass regularly, I prayed for insight and God already knew my sins, even those of omission. He asked me to say an Act of Contrition. I looked at him, tears forming in my eyes. How could God grant me mercy for sins that I can not voice? I didn't understand.

'O, my God, I am heartily sorry...' my voice started shaking, tears now streaming down my face. I suddenly felt God's presence...His mercy...His love. I didn't deserve any of it, yet He gave it freely. I had to stop several times to gather my composure before I could continue. I acknowledged my own sinfulness in a way I had never before experienced. No, I do not deserve God's mercy and tenderness, yet He knew that, which is why He sent His only Son. I recognized myself as weak and entrusted my entire self to God.

Pope Benedict XVI once remarked that it is most important in the Sacrament of Penance, no matter the sin committed, if the sinner recognizes the sin humbly and entrust themselves to the Priest-confessor, they will always experience the joy of God's forgiveness. God strengthens us through this Sacrament, to live a new spiritual life, to grow in Him and restore communion with Him and the Church.

One day a pastor of a Church in Germany asked what was most important about the Sacrament of Confession. Answers came from the congregation: 'Telling your sins to the Priest,' 'Being sorry for your sins,' 'Examination of Conscience.' Granted all of these things were important, but they were not the most important. A little girl raised her hand and said, 'It's what Jesus does!'

It's what Jesus does!

Vision of Faith

2008-07-30T05:24:00.005-04:00

'This picture is the mural in the dining room of Holy Trinity Monastery in Baltimore, Maryland. It represents what the eye of faith sees when people gather to celebrate the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Christ is the victim offered to the Triune God on the altar that joins heaven to earth. Mary is present as she was on Calvary. The light of grace emanates from the Spirit to enliven the faithful and all creation. The saints and souls of the faithful departed are under God’s mantle and in His embrace.'

Every time I look at this picture, I see more detail. It reminds me of how closely we are all linked, not only here on earth, but also the souls in purgatory, heaven, and yes, even in hell. And just imagine all of the angels praising God around the altar as well. To know that we have this at EVERY Mass still astounds me. I am unable to fathom the immense love that God brings to us and yearns for us to feel and hold in our hearts. I get little snippits of this love in odd moments - a butterfly, a little child, the sky during a storm, the sunset, a smile, and laughter.

I have come to cherish these moments because they have helped me during the rough times, times of trial and tribulation. This weekend was one such lasting moment - one that I will cherish close to my heart forever. On Friday night before dinner, Fr. V. said the blessing and asked that the Holy Spirit come upon all of us and our conversation. Yes, He came. He was definitely there with all of us, in all of us. Even Mass on Saturday night and Sunday morning meant so much more. Even though we all went our separate ways, back to our daily lives, in Mass, we are still all united.

A Holy Family

2008-07-29T13:05:00.004-04:00

I received this description of a holy family during our family reunion. Like many families, ours is one in turmoil right now...one of my siblings is going through a divorce. Not only does this divorce affect their lives, but it also affects the lives of the families to whom they are close.

I loved what this had to say and I thought I would share it. It is written by Fr. Scott Detisch.

What Makes a Holy Family?

Would you consider your family holy? You might be inclined to answer immediately: 'No way! We argue too much. We have too many problems and issues. Plus, we aren't spiritual enough.' People who would respond in this vein are equating holiness with perfection. But that is not what holiness is about. Holiness is a lifelong process of striving to live more and more in sync with God. It means being grasped by the love of God in such a way that we desire to be the persons God has made us to be. Yet, we recognize that we will stumble and bumble along the way to becoming those persons.

All the great holy ones in our Church - the Saints - stumbled and bumbled along the way. Look at St. Peter and all of the Apostles. They denied and abandoned Jesus at His hour of deat; yet they eventually surrendered their lives to what the love of God called forth from them. This did not happen all at once. It took years to unfold. The same is true with us and with our families.

Our families may not seem as if they are holy, but if we are truly opening ourselves up to what God has called us to be, then our families are holy because we are allowing the process of surrendering to God to unfold. What could help our families open up more to the process of holiness? Here are a few suggestions:

Pray together as a family before meals
Parents: talk with your children about your own experiences of God and Christ as a real presence and power in your life. Encourage your children's questions and wonder about the things of God
Celebrate the Eucharist every week with the larger parish family as a way of receiving what Christ offers to every member of the family; love, forgiveness, wisdom, challenge, strength, hope, healing, and joy
Have family night every week to share what is going on in each person's life and also to have some fun together and delight in each other. [Parents: this might mean having to say 'no' to your children's requests to be involved in everything that interests them.]
Adopt some form of service to the needs of others as a year-long family venture
Adopt language of affection, support, and forgiveness in the home. Do not hesitate to use the powerful words: 'I love you,' 'I am sorry,' 'You are forgiven,' 'You can tell me anything,' 'You are wonderful.' Our children begin to live the words they hear from us.

Please note: there is NO feast of the Perfect Family!

Blog-o-Sphere 'Come-and-See' Weekend

2008-07-29T12:13:00.011-04:00

I should be used to 'Come-and-See' weekends by now, especially since I will be joining the Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity in May 2009. However, nothing prepared me for the comeraderie, friendship, and laughter of this weekend.

Fr. V, of Adam's Ale fame, set up a get-together (basically a 'come-and-see' weekend) for some of the bloggers to all see the Vatican Splendors exhibit in Cleveland. Included in this amalgamated group was Adoro, Uncle Jim, Fr. S., MJ, and CK, as well as others around the area. Some of the moments I will cherish:

Beaker's version of the Tarantella (as well as other Muppets, including Animal)
Hawaii is a U.S. State SW of California (although surrounded by water)
Give one for the Gipper (who was an actual person)
Bocce Ball
Sharing stories with Uncle Jim & Aunt Rozann
Walking on top of the Church (others went into the Bell Tower) (I am afraid of heights, but I can skydive...go figure!)
Tour of the Shrine where I met CK, Adoro, and Fr. S. for the first time (luckily I knew Fr. V.)
Mass with everyone, celebrated by Fr. V. and then Fr. S.
Knowing my nephew thought Fr. V. and Fr. S. were 'cool' and 'normal'
Thinking to myself how lucky I am to have such great friends!

But most of all, the memories of friendship, laughter, and love for our Lord will always be in the forefront. Thank you all! I will miss the freedom to blog or hop in the car to meet you (my blogging days are limited). Just know, lots of prayers will be coming your way!