A-Head of it all

This past summer my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily the doctors caught it early. My Aunt, my Mom's sister, was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and had a double mastectomy. Needless to say, my Sister and I are now frightfully aware that we may have breast cancer in our lifetime.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

She was getting a routine mammogram ... well, should have been routine.  The tech saw something in one of the x-rays and took a few more pictures ... then there was something in the other breast ... again more pictures.  When all was done the normal 4 pictures turned into 13.

Then she was called back for an ultrasound and a biopsy. 

I am unsure if any of you had had a biopsy, but let's just say that they hurt!  They use a huge needle ... huge I mean in circumfrance, not length ... so they can suck the tissue right out of you.  Tissue that should be left alone under normal circumstances. 

It's funny how God answers prayers ...

I had prayed the night before that God would give me my Mom's pain.  It was a short quick, fleeting-of-the-moment, mindless type prayer ... but I do remember asking.  My Mom never felt a thing!  The doctor had a few biopsies to do because both breasts had questionable spots.  The needle went in, cells came out, and my Mom felt nothing.

I, on the other hand, had a major headache that day.  It was cloudy, work was a bit stressful, so I took some tylenol and thought nothing of it.

She decided to get a double mastectomy.  In fact they were not going to be used any longer ... we were all weaned and on solid foods now. (yes, you can laugh).  As the doctors made preparations for the surgery and additional doctor's appointments, my headaches grew worse and were happening daily. 

I had made some doctors appointments but nothing was working.  I do not get migraines, so I knew that was out.  But every test that was taken, everything came back normal - even the CT scan.   But I did not put 2-and-2 together.

My Mom had the surgery ... the doctor's said everything went really well.  She had staples from one side of her chest to the other, two drains, one on each side, and lots of bandages. 

My headaches had gotten worse to the point that I could barely think.  I couldn't concentrate and just keeping my eyes open was painful.  Imagine Uncle Fester putting your head in a vice and tightening it then grabbing a sledge hammer and hitting the back of your head with it ... my headaches were worse than that!

The next day my Mom and her Sister were in the hospital room ... my Mom felt no pain whatsoever!  She has traintracks running across her ... she just had major surgery ... and she felt no pain!  Nothing!  In fact, she was up and walking around (not far, mind you) that day.  The hospital, however, in their infinite wisdom, put her in a room with a patient who had massive infections (doctors were overheard talking about major antibiotics to attack the infection).  Needless to say, my Mom was NOT going to stay there any longer than she had to, in fact, she asked her doctor to discharge her that day so she could recouperate at home.  Because she was feeling well and the drains were working properly, the doctor did discharge her.

For the next 2 weeks, I had major headaches ... nothing was working ... even major pain pills.  They would knock me out, but when I would awaken, the pain was back.  My doctor's scheduled an MRI.  I had to now wait for the radiology department to call so we could schedule it ... 3 weeks later was the earliest I could get in.

It wasn't until my Mom and I were talking that we were able to connect the dots.  God allowed me to take her pain ... He gave me that gift, and what an awesome gift it was!  As I was in pain, I would offer up my pain, ask that it would be combined with Jesus' suffering, for anyone who needed prayers.  I am just amazed at God's infinite wisdom and kindness.

When the staples and the drains were taken out, she felt nothing! 

As she recouperated, my headaches lessened.  The day of the MRI, I had no headaches at all. Well, not like they were.  I would have a twinge here or there, but it was more of an annoyance than actual pain.  The MRI came back normal - everything that should be in there is in there and nothing that should be in there was not.

I now have no headaches at all.  They have completely disappeared.  And my Mom? Well, she's been a swell patient.  She made sure (as did we) that she did not pick up anything too heavy, lift anything above her head, and was able to rest as much as she needed.  She's now back to doing her exercises.  

Would I do it again?  Absolutely!
God gave me a gift ... a gift of faith.  He allowed me to get a snippit of the pain Jesus felt in his suffering. 

My Mom, on the other hand, yells at me when I tell her I would do it again ...

Another gift from God ... an answered prayer.

Surrender

Blanketed with snowfall of a new day
on my knees, my arms outstretched
as dew on a new leaf, eyes watered from sorrow

I tried it on my own, tried it by myself
failing and falling
my head bows in despair

Hands outstretched save me
His eyes know my pain
Gentle touch wiping the tears, lifting me

I am not to do it alone
He is always beside me
His love for me greater
He is waiting ... yearning for me ... loving me
asking me to surrender.

I'm back!

It has been over a year since I have 'blogged'.  The Holy Spirit has been nudging me to get back to writing, and as an unfaithful servant, I have been arguing with God.  (I think I would have learned by now that arguing will not work).

What has happened:

I lived in the Community of Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity for 3 months.  During that time, I was working at my job and living in the community.  I was having a very difficult time separating the secular world from the religious world.  Through discernment, God wanted me to leave the community, which He displayed through a very recognizable sign.  I had asked God to send me red roses if He wanted me to stay and yellow roses if He wanted me to leave.  That Tuesday, there were yellow roses on every table! 

I am unsure what God has in store for me next.  I am continuing to work at the job I had before I entered the Convent.  I am trying to lead the life God wants me to live.  I pray that I am pleasing to Him.

Since my departure at the Convent, I have had many challenges and many successes.  As of yesterday, I am now coordinating the Perpetual Adoration at my Church.  (The Holy Spirit nudged me and then confirmed it during the Spirutal Formation Committee meeting).

I look forward to writing again and reading all of the comments.

Thanks!

God's Path for Me ... Beginning of a New Life

As I look back, it amazes me how intricately involved God and Mary have been in my life. We hear through God's Word that He knows the number of hairs on your head. What is amazing is that it changes from minute to minute. Hair falls out or is shaved off. New hair grows back or a cell dies and becomes dormant. So we never know from minute to minute or second to second how many hairs we have ... but God, in His infinite wisdom and love for us, does.

He loves us so much that there is no problem too small that He wants to hear about. We think we can only take those grandiose problems that we can not find an answer or solution. However, He wants to know how our day went; what we were feeling; the good things that happened; the anger we felt; the joy; the pain ... He wants it all ... totally and completely.

To be asked by God to join Him is an enormous responsibility and a great privilege. My prayer is that I can successfully complete His will as He requests.

I greatly appreciated your prayers and support during my discernment. As I take this first step tomoorow, joining Him through the Trinitarian Order, I will keep you all in my prayers. Please know that during my Postulancy, I am given limited access to the Internet so my blogging will be few and far between. Please be patient.

God Bless you all!

Lenten Message - CatholiCity

I received this from CatholiCity and thought it was very well written - thought I'd share.






The CatholiCity Message
Volume XIII,
Number 2
Special Lenten Edition

Dear CatholiCity Citizen,

Our only purpose today is to help you begin your Lent well. Remember the initials YBLE: Your Best Lent Ever. Before we start, we saved a really, really, really good insight for last, entitled "YOU ARE NOT DEAD." Hmmnn.

1. NOW FOR THE...CONCEIT

This is one message you may want to forward to your friends and relatives--before Ash Wednesday is over. Let us being with...a conceit.

Huh? A what?
What is a "conceit"?

As some of us may recall from English class in the olden days, a conceit, according the fourth definition of the third meaning of the noun in Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, is (drumroll): "an organizing principle"

A Lent well-lived needs an organizing principle. May we suggest that your conceit for Lent 2009--your organizing principle--be to: Go. For. It.


THE POPE'S PETARD

Go For It!

We only have so many years on this earth, and to waste a Lent is just plain subpar for a believing Catholic. Challenge yourself spiritually in 2009. Choose extra *difficult* mortifications. Give up your very very most favorite things. Fast more often than ever before in your life. Commit to prayer or Mass or Good Friday devotions like never before in your life. Do not fall for the sadly common temptation to slide into this worldwide season of extraordinary grace like a wet towel into a hamper.

By the way, you know the Pope is going to kick petard this Lent. This is the only time of year when it is, in fact, a good idea to be more Catholic than the pope.

Pope Benedict XVI practically invented the Conceit.
He was going for it, like, over eighty years ago.

So plan today, right now, to look back on April 12, 2009 (Easter Sunday) with the wonderful sensation of knowing that you did your very, very best to grow closer to Jesus. That you did not squander another Lent. And let us know, on April 13, how It was goed for for you.

(Yes, if you read that slowly, it makes sense. Sort of.)


CRACKERJACK, SURPRISE-INSIDE SUGGESTIONS

Some of you are psyched. Some of you are groaning. Others are nodding (hopefully in agreement, not into sleep). Many stopped reading after the word "conceit."

And, now, for some suggestions. Please forgive us for listing some of the "usual suspect" suggestions. Our goal below is to make you tremble in fear: "Oh no, not that! I can't give up that!"

Yeah, we (and you) are looking for the Perfect Oh No Not That to give up because this year, our conceit is Go For It.

And remember, there is no prohibition from "doubling" up, or choosing three, five, or seven things for Lent 2009 (Your Best Lent Ever!).

We know that many of you have been intending to get off your duffs and do several of the following for years (and even decades--you know who you are).

We can only offer this bold encouragement because we are weak, slothful, wimpy, selfish, lazy, prideful, ashamed, and cowardly. Here are some suggestions to get into the spirit of GO FOR IT, followed by helpful hints, resources and comments...

1. Pray the Rosary every day.
2. Receive Communion at Mass every day.
3. Go to Confession every Friday.
4. Pray the Family Rosary every day or once a week.
5. Pray in silence 20 minutes a day.
6. Make a Eucharistic visit every day.
7. Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet (at 3:00 PM) every day.
8. Fast on bread and water one to three times per week.
9. Read a spiritual book.
10. Give a painfully large donation to charity.
11. Give a donation to charity instead of buying something for you.
12. Pray "Jesus, I love you!" in the first waking seconds of the day.
13. Listen to Catholic CDs.
14. Do something major to improve your marriage.
15. Volunteer anywhere: at your kid's school, homeless shelter16. Visit a home for the elderly
16. Give up something you absolutely love, crave, or spend time on, or that annoys the people you love, including:

-television or your favorite television show
-television before a certain hour
-television AFTER a certain hour
-coffee
-diet soda
-donuts
-hamburgers
-chocolate, and anything with chocolate flavor
-all snacks or desserts
-movies, Netflix, movie rentals
-the Internet
-following your favorite sports team
-video games
-celebrity magazines
-golf (an objectively grave moral evil) (only kidding)
-booze
-watching golf on TV
-a destructive, irresistable "friendship"
-foul language
-picking your nose
-sports radio
-satellite radio
-music radio
-talk radio
-restaurants
-driving when you could walk
-sleeping in late on the weekends
-sleeping an "extra" ten minutes in the morning
-fast food drivethroughs
-not cooking breakfast for your kids
-shopping for clothes or food
-text messaging
-not stopping by your neighbors to say hello for weeks
-failing to visit or call your "not close by" relatives
-soap operas
-the beach (for those of you lucky enough to have one nearby)
-fishing, hunting, four
-wheeling, skateboarding-some of your "alone" time doing any hobby
-your absolute favorite, passionate hobby (aha, you just fainted!)
-nagging your husband (you know who you are)
-nagging your wife (she knows who you are)
-interrupting others
-not smiling when you arrive at the office
-knitting, crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, sudoku
-knitting? (you addicts understand)
-cigarettes, cigars, gum, and "phony candy" breathmints
-cellphone calls in your car on the drive home
-bluetooth headset (harder than you think)
-fantasy football, basketball, or baseball
-eat your vegetables (even you adults)
-betting on March Madness
-gossiping at work
--say something nice instead
-stealing "little stuff" from your employer, including time online
-relations with your spouse (on certain days or weeks)
-thinking about yourself when you wake up or go to sleep (pray instead)
-thinking about yourself when you drive (pray instead)
-buying anything you don't need


LITTLE CHILDREN


That, ahem, should get you started.
We are also big advocates of children giving up video games and television.

Consider encouraging your little ones to abstain from meat on Friday and even to fast (using your parental judgment, under your supervision of course). Have them give 10% of their piggy bank into the collection basket.Let's review our conceit: GO FOR IT.


YOU ARE NOT DEAD: LENT VERSUS LINT


May we mildly suggest that you are not dead. You are not a corpse. You are alive. You are breathing.

Put your index finger into your bellybutton. Dig. That's lint.

This is Lent.
And Lent 2009 and it shall never come again, and it shall never *start* again, so that is why it is so important to have some courage on Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday.

Lent is about changing, for forty days, how you live so you can grow closer to Jesus.


LET US PRAY TOGETHER FOR LENT 2009


Our prayer is simple. Let us begin in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit..."

Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.

Please help me do my best, and by leadership or by example, help my family and friends, do their their best, this Lent. Because I love you and I want to love you more. Amen.



"LENTEN QUOTATIONS"

"Study the generations long past and understand;
has anyone hoped in the Lord and been disappointed?
Has anyone persevered in his commandments and been forsaken?
has anyone called upon him and been rebuffed?
Compassionate and merciful is the Lord;
he forgives sins, he saves in time of troubleand he is a protector to all who seek him in truth."
Sir 2:5-11 (Reading for Tuesday, February 24, 2009)


"An honest man is the noblest work of God."
Alexander Pope

"I have done my part. May Christ teach you to do yours."
Saint Francis of Assisi, final words on his deathbed

"My Lord has suffered as much for me."
Savonarola, final words on his deathbed

"I have not behaved myself that I should be ashamed to live, nor am I afraid to die, because I have so good a master."
Saint Ambrose, final words on his deathbed

"Jesus! Jesus!"
Saint Joan of Arc, final words on her deathbed


Thank you for being an august citizen of CatholiCity, and for reading to the sweet end.
Next time we write, it shall be in the middle of Lent, in the fray, so to speak, of Lent 2009.
Meet us there, going for it.With Immaculate Mary,Your Friends at CatholiCity____________________________________________________

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The Day has come

The D-Day has been determined .... March 12th. Yes, in one month I will be officially entering the Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity.

And guess what - it's the feast day of St. Maximilian, no not St. Maximillian Kolbe, but St. Maximilian son of Fabius. He was beheaded because he refused to join the Roman army.

Also the feast day of St. Seraphina.

Action Needed ...

http://RestoreTheRepublic.com - STOP HR 645 - A rather scary piece of legislation has been introduced in the House of Representatives entitled HR 645. Also known as the National Emergency Centers Establishment Act. ...

A friend of mine, who is in the military, alerted me to this. Your action is urgently needed regarding H.R. Bill 645


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVA1bKPA500

New Blog in Town

Check out the new Blog -

Open Door Pro-Life Family Apostolate

Feast of the Immaculate Conception

Today is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception

Prayers

Anyone in & around Cleveland

This evening at Our Lady of Lourdes Shrine (Euclid, OH)

Rosary & Mass

7:00pm

Mass celebrated by Bishop Pevec

Update:

Lourdes Web Cam

To All Parents of Religious

I found this article, 'To All Parents of Religious', on Catholic Exchange. I also shared it with my parents...who 'can now start their life of crime.' Okay, maybe not. :-)


To All Parents of Religious

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