Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Sign of the Cross

Thank you all for your comments regarding making the Sign of the Cross in front of others.

Actually - what got me was the fact that I KNEW what I was doing - and yet I was afraid to make the Sign of the Cross in front of people. This is a mark of my faith - and yet - WHY was I afraid to show my faith?

When I really thought about it - I was denying my faith at that moment. That was the sin.

What's really been interesting are the comments from people - some were VERY glad I immediately went to Confession and only wanted to receive the Eucharist with a clean heart & soul (and conscience). Others did not see it as a sin at all...but that I was being too hard on myself.

I will be the first one to admit - yes, I am VERY hard on myself. But in these times, I have to be. There is part of me, which I am not able to clearly explain, that needs me to stay on the straight and narrow, and ensure that my soul is clean - to use the Sacrament of Confession and the Eucharist (as well as Spiritual Communions) as much as possible. We all see that the Spiritual Warfare is on heightened levels.

Again, I can not explain this - but I have had many people (who have never met me before) tell me that I am here to do something great. WHAT this "great" means, I have no idea - but my reliance on the Eucharist & Confession is great. I am greatly drawn to these two Sacraments. It sounds crazy - I know. Which is why I keep praying to God to get me ready for what I am supposed to do - His Will that I am to fulfill. And when the time comes where I am completing His will, give me the courage, tenacity, fortitude, and strength.

Which goes back to why I was afraid to make the Sign of the Cross in front of people. If this was one of God's tests for me to show my faith in front of others - I failed. So, I confess my failure, forget it, and move on....learning from the failure and facing it head-on.

Has this incident changed me? Absolutely! Yes, I am still hesitant on making the Sign of the Cross in front of others - even at restaurants. However, I face it head-on, tell Satan to go to the foot of the Cross and boldly proclaim my faith by making the Sign of the Cross. There are times when my hand is shaking, there are times when my head is bowed and eyes closed, and there are other times when my head and eyes are forward, back straight, and my faith proclaimed.

Yes, I show my faith in other ways - but for some reason, this was a hurdle that I needed to overcome at this moment. Maybe by showing my faith it will enable someone else to proclaim their's as well.

Photo: Pope Benedict XVI makes the sign of the cross during the weekly general audience at the Vatican last Wednesday. (Plinio Lepri/Associated Press)

No comments: